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A long time ago before I had a kid I wrote a post that basically rambled on about howand how wasteful that was. One of the comments I got was from aka Mike that said ”

All I can say is:

1. Have a child.
2. Teach them to potty as soon as they can walk.
3. Please blog about your results!!

Just for the record . Canadians do the same thing. :)

Mike

This post is for you, Mike.

Now I have a baby and I just started potty training him this week and it has been quite exciting.  He is 4 months and a week old now so he can’t walk yet, but he certainly can communicate.  I bought him a little(affiliate link)  from Target, and he can sit on it with a little bit of support.  The method of potty training I am employing is called Elimination Communication in America, but in China it is really just a normal part of childcare.  Basically, you take your baby to the potty when it seems like he needs to go. For my son, I take him when he wakes up from a nap, or when he suddenly becomes fussy.

On the first day I tried this my son peed into the toilet just once, and that was extremely exciting.  The next day I tried he pooped twice and peed once in the toilet.  Today he did extremely well and peed into his potty a total of nine times. I missed his poops because he was outside and not home, but he was wearing his diaper.  Each time it took around two minutes for me to get him in and out of the bathroom and every time he peed into his potty I felt like telling someone like it was the best news in the world. I have found that he is a lot less fussy since I have started taking him to the bathroom, and every time he finishes a poop or pee on the toilet he lets out a huge satisfied smile.

In hindsight, I really should have started this earlier because my son used to give a very clear signal when he needed to poop or pee.  Our whole family knows it as the “O” face and we have many photos of this phenomenon.  Basically he shaped his mouth into a very tight little “O” before he peed and pooped.   Now he no longer gives this signal because I think he got used to pooping in the diaper and this is a behavior that needs to be unlearned.

Currently  I have cut down the diaper usage from seven or eight to three or four  a day because I managed to keep his diaper clean and dry for hours.  Hopefully by the time he is mobile he will just know to go to the toilet.  My mom said that when I was a baby I carried my potty around to do my business.  Many people have told me that I have to wait until the baby shows interest in the toilet to start training him, but how would a baby show interest in the toilet if he doesn’t know what it is?  Anyway, potty training takes a lot of effort no matter what age your child is, and I think getting it done sooner is better than getting it done later.

I really believe that toilet training a baby  early is the way to go for families that want to cut down waste and save money.  If you think about it, people routinely toilet train puppies that are a couple months old, so why can’t human babies be trained to recognize that the bathroom is the proper place to eliminate waste?  Anyway, if you are interested in toilet training your baby early, I highly recommend the site.  It clearly explains the way infant potty training works, and it is the way billions of Asian babies are toilet trained.

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Lately I have been thinking a lot about why a lot of us work so hard for our employers.  I know that the unemployment numbers are still very high so that those of us who are employed are considered fortunate, but why do so many of us spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our families?

If you have a normal 40 hour work week and commute to the office then you would be away from home for 50 hours or more a week.  When you get home you are often tired and grumpy and maybe watch a few shows and then go to sleep.  When I think about it, most people spend more than half of their waking hours doing work related things.  This is perfectly fine when you enjoy your work, but so many people hate their jobs and they still continue on the same path.  Why?   Here are some of my conclusions.

buy viagra canada online pharmacybuy viagra canada online pharmacy -  Many of us know our jobs well so that it is easy to finish our daily routine.  There are occasional challenges, but at every job there is just a good amount of work that needs to be repeated over and over again.  This makes the job easy after you get used to it.  Most of us have clear projects and directions at work, and that makes it easy.

buy viagra canada online pharmacy -   Another reason why working for an employer is easy is that so much infrastructure is already set up for you.  You have a workspace, a paycheck, and a defined set of benefits.  Usually there is very little that is unknown.  If your employer loses money chances are you will still get paid and life goes on.  For the most part you don’t have to worry about things like corporate taxes, lawyers, or paying other people.  You just concentrate on your portion of the work and it is fine.

buy viagra canada online pharmacy – It’s easy to fit in when you have a “regular” job.  The most common question ask when people meet you is usually, “what do you do?”  If you’re over 22 and under 65 most people expect you to have a job.  This is not exactly a reason why people work so hard for an employer, but it is a reason why so many people choose the set path of working for a corporation or some other established entity.  It is considered normal to work 40 hours a week plus or minus 10 to 20 hours of commute time and overtime.  Being normal is easier.

I have to admit that I know that keeping my job is much easier than quitting and starting something on my own.  I know that many small business owners put in a lot more than 40 hours a week, and those that hire people have to worry about a lot more than just themselves.  I am glad to see that many people have become self employed in this recession because they got kicked out of their easy jobs.  Hopefully a good number of them are starting businesses that will hire people in the future.

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It seems like it was just yesterday when we said happy new year to each other, but now it is already February.  These days are passing by so quickly for me that I hardly know how I spent all my time.  Oh right, when I am not working I am pretty much taking care of the baby.  The cliche we often hear is that “time flies when you are having fun”, and I am having fun.

I tell my husband constantly that time is flying by for me and he replies to me that he feels like we have been married for ten years because to him it feels like time has been passing by really slowly.  He said that the six weeks he took off for parental leave felt like it was especially long because he hasn’t had such a long break from work in a very long time.  He enjoyed his break quite a bit and wanted to retire after that, but alas, we are not quite set for life, yet.

This year we are facing some new expenses and challenges with the baby, but so far it has been going quite well.  I think one reason the days are going by so fast for me is that I am always looking forward to see how the baby has changed each day.  Both my husband and I feel like we are now officially adults because we are now parents, and I feel a lot older than I was just a few months ago.  I also find it funny because many of my friends and family have said something along the lines of “I can’t believe you are now a mom”.  To be honest, if someone told me ten years ago that I would have a son and I would enjoy being a mom, then I would have laughed in that person’s face.    Now I am one of the few people I know from high school that has a kid, and I guess that is somewhat surprising.

The more I look at the baby grow the more I think about the trade off between money and time.  Now I am sure that I don’t want a job that pays a crapload of money but requires me to work 14 hours a day.  I rather work the hours I have now and be home with my son at a reasonable hour.  By now I am also sure that I need time away from my kid just to stay sane, so I pay for childcare so I can work.  My husband and I also want to retire as soon as possible so that we can have some time with the kid before he is an adult, and we will reach that   goal much faster if we both worked.  Basically, we do trade our time for money, but eventually enough money will allow us to have more time to spend the way we want to spend it, and that is the ultimate goal.

Anyway, hopefully our kid will learn to appreciate time with family and friends more than random plastic stuff, because   I will not be buying him action figures.

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One of the most popular posts on this blog is since apparently many people search Google about Asian parents.  Now that I am an Asian parent I thought it is time to revisit what I wrote and what I think I would do differently from the typical Asian parents.

First of all, my parents still want me to get a masters degree and they actually offered to pay for it.  It is very generous, but I think I will pass for now.  If I wanted a master’s degree I can pay for it myself, and I would have done it a long time ago.  I think Asian parents do give their children too much financial support and I would not be supporting my child if he were 27 and had a family already.  He should be independent by then.  There are too many Asian parents that I know who are supporting their adult children financially, and I will not do that to any of my kids.  I really think that this endless financial support   stunts children’s  ability to be independent adults.  Although I only have a college degree, I think my parents are proud that I am independent and don’t need their support.  They often tell me stories of other people’s children who are still living off the bank of mom and dad.  They are also happy to be grandparents, and being Asian, now they are bragging to their friends that they are the first to be grandparents while their friends brag about their kids’ advanced degrees.

Next,  I would let my kid choose whatever career he wanted as long as it’s not criminal.  As long as he could survive on his own and is happy then  it is fine.  I don’t really see a point in comparing my kid to others.  When I told my mom that she just kept on saying that I have to tell my kid to aim high and that if I don’t do that my son would accomplish even less than what I did.   I have no idea what she means because I am a pretty well compensated engineer.  In fact, I make more money than my mom now even though she has a masters degree, but that’s a whole other gripe she has.  I guess what she means is that I don’t have an advanced degree, and that I should tell my kid to aim “high”.  The truth is, many of the most successful people in the world do not have advanced degrees, and if my kid doesn’t want an advanced degree but have a passion or talent that works for him, then that is great, too.   If you get an advanced degree just for “face”, then it is pretty useless.   One thing I will try to teach my kid is that he has to work hard for whatever he wants, because his parents will not be around forever and inherent talent can only go so far.

Ultimately, I want my son  to be happy, healthy, and independent.  He doesn’t need to be an engineer or have a PhD, but if he wants to do those things it is fine, too.  I will love him and raise him the best way I know how, but I will not support him once he is an adult.   We will see how he turns out in twenty years or so.

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My baby just turned three months old this week and I have been back at work for about a week and a half.  I am using the rest of my 6 weeks of paid family leave one to two days per week so I will be working only 4 days a week until October of this year.  These are my thoughts about returning to work so far.

I have to admit that I was really glad to be back at work after three months of being at home with the baby.  I do love my baby very much, but having time to think and interact with adults other than my husband has been refreshing.  I enjoyed the serenity of my cube, and it was nice to see my coworkers again in the new year.  On the other hand, it felt quite strange to be back because there were a lot of new faces.  It seems like the company did reasonably well for 2009 despite the recession so I am glad that my job is at least fairly secure.

I am fortunate to be at a company with fairly flexible hours and I could do most of my work through telecommuting.  My workplace sort of had a mini baby boom in the past year and a half, and seven boys including mine were born within 15 months.  One baby was actually born a day before mine.  I think I was the last one to have a baby, but I’m not sure if anyone else is pregnant now.  With this many babies I guess I don’t feel so weird about being a young parent at work. I did read this story in the Wall Street Journal , because that is pretty much what happened here at work, and it seems that my company is still doing fine.

I am also thankful that we have a good friend taking care of our baby for two to three days a week.  I think I am getting used to packing up the baby and all his stuff to our friend’s house now and I am getting skinnier from all the extra exercise.    She lives pretty close to my workplace so I could get there fairly quickly if I am needed.  I do feel a little guilty about outsourcing childcare to someone else, but at this point we both need to work.  Hopefully working now gives us more time to spend with the kid a bit later when he is around ten.  We are hoping to retire before he is a teenager so that we could still travel together.

I am having fun being a mom, and I think my hubby enjoys parenthood, too.  I think we have gotten over the toughest few months and we are getting used to the routine.  The hubby is getting plenty of sleep at night and I am getting used to feeding the baby a couple times in bed.  I am , and my baby is doing extremely well on breast milk.  He has gained 3 lbs a month since the end of October and is now over 13lbs.  By feeding him breast milk I estimate I already saved several hundred dollars on formula.  I also lost more than 25 pounds and the hubby definitely appreciates that.

Anyway,  time seems to be passing extremely quickly now with this baby, and I have not blogged as frequently because a lot of the time I am just thinking of what to do the next day.  Basically I need to be organized about what I want to write and write them whenever I have free time, and that is getting rare these days.

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