Entries Tagged 'Women' ↓

For the past week and a half my daily routine has consisted mostly of feeding the baby and sleeping while the little guy is sleeping.   I have barely had time to read the news or email.  I always knew that I would breastfeed because breast milk is “free” food for the baby and I don’t care much about what my boobs look like, but I have to admit that it is a lot harder than I thought it would be.   Everyday the little guy asks to eat more than ten times, and I feel like he is constantly attached to my boobs.   These are my thoughts on being a walking talking  milk dispenser.

The hubby has been a lot of help in cleaning the house and changing diapers, but when it comes to feedings he just doesn’t really have the equipment.  At those 4 am feedings,  as Lynette from Desperate Housewives said, I am  “the only bar in town” for the little guy.    It takes at least 30 minutes for the baby to drift off to dreamland with my nipple in his mouth and a dribble of milk down his cheek. Meanwhile I am nodding off and trying not to drop him.  I am getting used to these feedings in the middle of the night, so they are not so bad now.  My hubby is also able to get quite a bit of sleep through the night now so he is feeling less tired during the day.

The more bizarre aspect about breastfeeding is how the baby seems to have a remote control on my boobs.  One time I was doing some business in the bathroom, and he woke up and cried for food.  I wasn’t finished, and I just felt this tingly itch in my boobs and a few drops of milk dripped on my thigh.  Apparently this is called letdown, and it is really the weirdest thing I have ever experienced.  I basically get this urge to shove my boobs into his mouth to relieve the itch.   How can this helpless little chubby guy control my body like this?

I also find the look on my baby’s face both endearing and frightening when he gets close to my breast.  He makes the most animalistic grunts with his mouth wide open and shakes his head from side to side as if he is possessed. Then he latches on like a rabid little beast and starts gulping down milk.  After a few minutes he would slow down and revert back to the peaceful little baby he usually looks like.  I don’t know if all babies do this, but the ferocity in my child’s face when he sees a breast is quite funny.

I am trying to pump a bit of extra milk every day just for the times that I cannot feed him, but I think my breasts are still trying to catch up to the demand of the little nugget  so I cannot spare too much milk, yet.   So far the bottles I pumped really helped in calming the baby during a couple doctor’s appointments, and today my mom fed the baby with one of my bottles and I think it was fun for her.

Another positive side effect of this marathon feeding schedule is that I am losing the fat I gained during pregnancy.  I am only 4 to 7 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight now and I am on track to lose the extra weight I had.  Of course, my hypercritical Asian mom is still saying that I am fat even though I just had a baby 11 days ago.

Overall, I think  breastfeeding is  very worthwhile for us even though I do feel like a food dispenser for my spawn.  The little guy rarely spits up milk, and he has gained enough bulk to be above his birth weight.  I know that we are fortunate that the baby is able to get enough food from my breasts and he is taking the milk well and the free breastfeeding class we took at Kaiser definitely helped.  My hubby loves that breastfeeding is very easy and clean because it doesn’t involve washing bottles or mixing formula.  He actually said to me that he cannot believe that many women do not even try to breastfeed because it is the most economic and easy way to feed a baby.   Then again, men do not have to deal with cracked nipples and tingly letdown.  I will definitely try to continue feeding the baby breast milk for as long as I can, even though it will be a little tricky when I start work again.

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As a tax paying permanent resident of the United States with no right to vote, I am watching this election with a lot of disgust and a little bit of amusement. I think this election is really turning into a giant soap opera and I’m not sure how it will turn out, but the prevailing themes have been racism, sexism, and elitism. These are my opinions on what I have seen so far. Feel free to stop reading if you are not interested in my political commentary.

Now on the issue of racism, I’m pretty sick of hearing the rhetoric that if you don’t like Obama you are a racist. I was also pretty sickened by the fact that Obama and the democrats attempted to draw parallels between Obama and Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement. Historically, the Democratic party was the party of the slave owners and the Republican party was formed in opposition to the Kansas-Nebraska Act which would have expanded slavery into Kansas and expanded the power of the slave owners. Eventually, Abraham Lincoln became the first Republican president and the slaves were freed. During the Civil Rights Movement, the democrats were mostly against the desegregation and civil rights laws. It was Republicans who pushed through the The Civil Rights Act of 1964, a key piece of legislation that outlawed segregation and also created equal employment opportunities for women. One of the Democrats who voted against the Act is Senator Robert Byrd of West Virgina and he is still in office at the age of 91. He is a former member of the Ku Klux Klan and said the following in a letter, “I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side… Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.” He now says that he made a mistake by joining the Ku Klux Klan and endorses Barack Obama. He may be reformed, but it doesn’t change the fact that he supported racism for decades and the democrats have pursued racist agendas for hundreds of years. In a way, I feel that the Democrats are simply using Obama as a tool in the current moment. They are attempting to shed their racist past by using Obama as a symbol of change and I think it definitely worked. Apparently many people now believe that Republicans are the intolerant and racist party because they do not say nice things about Obama. I think that is pretty hypocritical because I am sure many of those old Democrats have nothing nice to say about Obama in their private letters.

The next big theme of this election is sexism. The hatred poured out against Hillary Clinton has pretty much divided the Democrats. There are allegations of caucus fraud by the Obama campaign and one female Clinton-supporting statistician has compiled a 98 page book about what happened during the caucuses. There are a lot of stories of fraud and intimidation conducted by the Obama campaign. The most serious and comical group that sprang out of the Hillary bashing by the Democrats is P.U.M.A, which stands for Party Unity My Ass. They are really serious about supporting Hillary, and there are hundreds of groups of these democrats who believe that the proverbial “old boys club” have shunned their candidate Hillary. Now McCain has picked Sarah Palin in response to the treatment Hillary received. I think it was a brilliant move even though Sarah Palin is the polar opposite of Hillary Clinton on pretty much every issue. Is Palin being used as a gimmick? I believe so, but the response of the Republican party towards Sarah Palin has been extremely enthusiastic, and in a way they are using the sexism of the Democrats against them. So far, the more liberal media has bashed Palin for having kids and having a high powered career at the same time. And just today I read a ridiculous comment by South Carolina Democratic chairwoman Carol Fowler that said Palin’s “primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.” The funny thing about all of this is that the more they trash Sarah Palin, the more backlash they will receive. There are so many women in America that juggle being a mom and having a career, and I think when the media and rabid Democrats make comments that insinuate Palin isn’t qualified to do her job because she is a mom of five, they are inherently insulting many working woman across the nation.

The final -ism of the election is elitism. In the last election the Republicans painted John Kerry as an elitist that lived in a giant mansion with his ketchup heiress wife, and Kerry lost. This time, it is McCain who has the heiress wife and 8 or 10 homes, but somehow Obama is still more elitist. From where I am standing, both McCain and Obama are pretty far removed from the average American. However, Obama seems more elitist because he is a well spoken and well educated black man and Rev. Jesse Jackson actually said that Obama “talks down to black people” and that he wanted to “cut his nuts off”. Obama did make a lot of critical comments about the African American community including “I don’t know who taught them that reading and writing and conjugating your verbs was acting white, we’ve got to get over that mentality.” With these comments, it’s understandable that some people feel that Obama is elitist, but I think Obama is just being himself and being honest. Technically, you want to have the more educated and wise people in public office, but being humble and likable is also very important because the common man and woman do the voting. So in a way it makes sense that elitism is an undesirable trait, but I don’t think Obama or McCain should act dumb or poor just to be more likable. They are who they are, and there is nothing wrong with being well educated and wealthy as long as they govern with integrity and wisdom.

In the 16 years I have lived in America, it seems that Americans rarely vote on the important issues such as the economy and healthcare. Most of the time we have a personality contest filled with personal attacks. This election is definitely the most heated and divisive election I have seen thus far. It is also by far the most entertaining. I think whatever happens, this election will start a grand social experiment. We will either have the first African American president or the first female Vice President. As demonstrated by this election, racism and sexism are still alive and well in America and if either Palin or Obama fails miserably in their administration they could set back the group they represent. No matter what happens, I just hope things do not get worse than they already are. As the Chinese proverb says, “It’s better to be a dog in a peaceful time than be a human in a chaotic world”.

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Some of my friends have asked me things along the lines of, “aren’t Christian women supposed to be stay at home moms?” I have never really been taught this idea in the churches I have gone to, but I know some Christian groups do  support the idea that Christian women should not work for a living and the man of the house should be the one bring home the bacon. So is it wrong for Christian women to earn money outside of the home? Well, ultimately I think the Bible should answer everyone’s questions on this issue.

The book of Proverbs ends with an acrostic poem describing a virtuous wife. This is actually a very long section focused on one single topic, and that’s pretty different from the rest of the book where various short phrases of wisdom are written in sequence. It begins with, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels(rubies).” Prov 31:10. Then it goes on to describe the various things a good wife does, and interestingly enough a lot of things she does are related to business and finance. Here is what I read:

She invests in real estate - “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard” Prov 31:16

She sells the goods she produces – First she produces: “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.” Prov 31:13 Also later in the passage she sells the goods: “She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.” Prov 31:18 “She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.” Prov 31:24

She is generous in giving – “She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.” Prov 31:20

She is prepared – “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.” Prov 31:21 “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” Prov 31:25 I think both of these verses show that she is prepared for the things to come, and I think that being prepared for snow implies that the good wife is financially prepared for a non-fruitful season.

She is watchful – “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ” Prov 31:27 I think this verse conveys the message that a good wife is not lazy, and she is very aware of what’s going on in her family. Finances is a big part of family affairs, and a wife that knows what’s going on with a household’s money would be much better prepared for disasters.

She diligently provides for her family - “She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” Prov 31:14-15

She fears the lord – This is the final point of the passage. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Prov 31:30

So from this book, I think it is fairly clear that a Christian woman is never required to be a stay at home mom and in a way the Bible actually encourages a wife to earn income and provide for her family. In my church there are all types of families. There are dual income families, and there are stay at home moms, and there is a pretty cool stay at home dad, too. Everyone knows that the guy is a stay at home dad and he was given a rose for Mother’s day. I think all of these family structures are totally acceptable as long as both people in the marriage agree with it and they trust each other and God enough to make it work.

I hope this post clarified the position of the Bible on women and working for income. I think that all women should be independently enough so that their husbands would not have have to worry about them very much. Finally, I believe that Christianity is a religion that gives women a lot of freedom compared to many other religions. We can choose to be a stay at home wife, or work outside the home. We do not have to hide ourselves and we can honor God in our own way. That is liberating.

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