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In exactly one month, I will be married. I originally budget the wedding at $7900, but it seems that I was too optimistic. Here’s our current cost breakdown:

Expense Type Cost in US Dollars
Engagement Ring 4600
Wedding Bands 648
Reception package 9500
Attire for bridal party ~1300
Invitations ~300
Gifts/Favors ~1000
Flowers ~300
Photography 1500
Honeymoon 3740
Marriage License 78
Total ~23000

In Northern California this is considered a fairly cheap wedding, but it’s still costing more than my college education and it makes me sick. Even though the money came from the generosity of our parents, it’s a bit hard for me to swallow. My mother came to the realization that modern American weddings are scams when we went into an alteration appointment for my gown. The seamstress was very pushy and asked for more than $300 to hem my dress. When I said I didn’t want to do it anymore, she said, “Listen, this is your first time getting married right? There is a process you have to follow. You have to spend money on all of these things, because that’s part of becoming a bride.” Frankly, I don’t buy that crap and my mom didn’t either. She sat down in the car and said, “This whole wedding thing is a SCAM!” Then she hemmed my dress for me.

My future hubby doesn’t like it when I say that weddings and diamonds are scams because he thinks that I don’t care about our wedding. I do care about our wedding, but I care about the days beyond our wedding much much more. The sheer pageantry of modern weddings used to be only reserved for royalty, but now people are saving and even borrowing money to put on these extravagant productions. For example, my mom’s coworker is attending a destination wedding that costs more than $200,000, and the bride is paying for it with a cash-out refinance of her home. Is it really worth it to take on that much debt for one day of being harassed by relatives you barely know while wearing extremely uncomfortable clothes? I really don’t believe so.

Love is free, so getting married should be free too. My parents got married in China by registering at the government, and taking a photo together. Their marriage is not any less meaningful than the marriages of those who had spectacular weddings. If I had my way, I would have saved most of the money for my future child’s college fund and go on a longer honeymoon. However, the wedding is mostly for my fiance, and our friends and family, not for me. Hopefully, it will be a fun day for everyone attending. I know I will be getting heat hives from the wedding dress…

Quick Factoids:

Cost of a wedding in Northern California:

Cost of University of California, Berkeley:
4192.25 per semester (When I attended in 2001 the tuition was and I had a $500 per semester scholarship, and the government says there’s only 2% inflation? Anyway, that’s another rant.)

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