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My short life has taken place in three distinct places separated by oceans. They are China, Hawaii, and the San Francisco Bay Area. In terms of income, my family has made more money in the Bay Area than any other place in the world. However, I am not sure that our quality of life has drastically improved from the times when we were dirt poor. It is a bit mind boggling, but here is a side by side comparison of the places I have lived, and how my experience of life isn’t really vastly improved by money.

When I was young, China just opened up to the west, but most agencies were still state owned. My parents were college professors so we lived a pretty middle class lifestyle. We lived in a condo provided by their employer and had enough for all of our basic needs. The biggest purchase my parents made was a color television, and it worked quite well for many many years. I remember watching Ninja Turtles, Denver the Last Dinosaur, The Smurfs, and lots of other American cartoons from the eighties. The government also provided health care and schooling so everything seemed quite fine to me. The education I got in Chinese public schools was quite excellent and definitely gave me an advantage in school later. I knew that my parents didn’t have much money, but for the most part I felt that we had everything we needed. As far as I know, apparently many American people my age had the same kind of middle class suburban childhood as I did, and even watched the same cartoons.

Then we moved to Hawaii, and my parents were students and had no money at all. However,we always had a place to live and I qualified for the free lunch program at my school so I don’t remember ever going hungry. Hawaii is also a beautiful place and I loved living there. There was a kid in my class who came from Los Angeles and he hated Hawaii. I didn’t understand why he hated Hawaii, but he said it was because it is an island and it is so damn small. Since my family didn’t own a car, I felt that the island was huge. I didn’t understand why anyone would hate Hawaii, and I still don’t.

After my parents graduated from school we moved to the San Francisco Bay Area because my aunt already lived here and the economy in Hawaii isn’t that good. They both found jobs and we got a nicer apartment, and then a house, and cars to get to work.  In terms of material wealth, we did have more.  However, the entire Bay Area lifestyle was just so much more stressful than any other place we have ever been. People are just much more competitive and aggressive here and even after ten years I don’t think I am used to it. My parents made more money, but I don’t think our family became happier because of money. Instead, I think money actually created a lot more stress and worry for my parents and me. As they say, “mo’ money, mo’ problems”.

So now my husband and I both pull in decent incomes, and to some people it may seem that we make a lot of money for our age, but I feel that our quality of life is perhaps a little lower than my childhood in China. We have to deal with driving , the lack of job security, and potentially substandard education for our future children. We do live a comfortable life, and we are thankful, but I still long for a simpler and less stressful place to live. Perhaps my memories of China and Hawaii are a bit idyllic because I was still a child, but I would seriously give up my income to live in a place where things didn’t move so fast and the basics of quality education, health care, and housing are not so hard to come by.

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Kapi’olani Community College’s Admissions Office is in a building with the backdrop of Diamond Head. I found it quickly and an administrator named Alice started to talk to me. I told her my background, including my experience as a college professor in China, but my English was quite poor and I wanted to repeat college. She listened to my stuttering English and often stopped me and said, “Excuse me, could you repeat? I don’t understand you.” After a bit of explaination, she understood what I was trying to say. She told me that it’s great that I want to attend the school and there are many older adults attending. There are even seniors studying courses of their choice. Additionally, there are some international students. With her introduction, I found out more about the University of Hawaii system. University of Hawaii is a public school system created by the state government, and includes three universities. The largest of the universities is the University of Hawaii at Manoa. It has over 20000 students and has masters and PhD programs for many different subjects. In addition to the three universities, there are seven community colleges on the major islands. These colleges generally have lower requirements for entry and also cost significantly less. At that time, each semester credit only cost 19 dollars and the max you had to pay was 228 dollars per semester. There are many subjects you can study and you have a choice to take classes you are interested in. After two years, you can get an Associate Degree and you can use the degree to find jobs or transfer to a four year university. I personally think that this system of higher education in America is commendable because it suits the needs of different types of students and saves resources for the society as a whole.

After Alice told me the information, she asked me what my English score was. I told her my TOEFL score and she said that I already qualify for the school. So she took out several different forms from a drawer and told me to fill it out. As long as I turn them in within a week I could enter college the next semester. I was extremely excited and took the forms she gave me and hopped out of the school like a little sparrow. As I walked home, my thoughts were like the turbulent waves of the nearby Pacific Ocean. I thought of the words of one of Helen’s friends, “Be not afraid of being slow, but be afraid of being still”. These words contain a deep wisdom.

After I got home, I started to busily fill out my application forms. In addition to the basic application, I needed to prove that I had economic support. In the application there was a section about high school. When the Cultural Revolution began, I was only in the 4th grade, and the schools shut down after I finished two years of middle school. When I was 15 I was sent to work in a factory, so I have no record of attending any high school. Fortunately, I had my TOEFL score and my college diploma, so it didn’t matter. Helen already had a graduate teaching assistant scholarship so she is considered an employee of the University and we had medical coverage. At that time, the most important question is what major I should pick. A Chinese proverb says, “men are afraid of picking the wrong profession, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man”. From the point of view of a traditional Chinese person, I was already in a stage where I couldn’t turn back. However, I had to rekindle my fire, and I really needed to pick the right career.

I chose to study finance and accounting based on my skills. The main reason is that my English was horrible, but my mathematical skills are quite decent. Second, I already had a background in economics and law, and that could be important in a financial career. Third, many people think that being an accountant is quite boring and tedious so there is a shortage of accounting professionals. In general, accounting jobs are easy to find because accountants are needed everywhere. Recently America added many financial legislation so that auditors and accountants are needed in larger quantities. It is very different from China because in America financial professionals are paid quite well and they are generally respected individuals. Recently, I saw a paper which listed the 25 highest paying professions in America. The first 10 spots were taken by various types of doctors, and the top median salary is around $160,000. CEOs were placed at number 14, and accounting managers are placed at number 25 with an average salary of $100,000.

The things I experienced later proved that choosing to be a financial professional was correct. The year before last I was invited by my alma mater in China to do a series of lectures about nonprofit companies in America. So I created a course based on my personal experiences and successfully delivered a special lecture. Afterwards, I saw one of my old assistants, who is now the dean of the business school. When we had dinner together he asked me what I do in America for a living. I told him that do some financial consulting and accounting. He said, “it’s such a shame that talent like you is being an accountant!” After I have been in America for so long my thoughts and prejudices have changed quite a bit. I remember that the great author Lu Xun once said, “if you don’t have that much talent, just pick something small to do.” I do not regret my choice for a bit. If I didn’t leave my position as a professor, my life would have stood still and living for one day would be the same as living for one year, and perhaps I would still be the same after ten years.

A friend left a comment in my blog that said, “when you are studying you find joy in work. I have once said that if it were possible I would spend my entire life at school, but reality would not allow you to do so.” It is true and I agree with her view. I am extremely lucky and glad that I was able to make a new choice, have a new goal, and live a new life. In fact, when I started college once again, I felt so much younger since my classmates were teens and tweens. How many people have a chance to return to that period of their lives?
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It is kind of funny. When you are a child, you think of what it is like to grow up and be independent, and then once you become an adult you realize how short and precious childhood really is. A lot of people find my blog by searching terms relating to Asian parents pushing their kids. Today I want to address a few things about parents who push their children because they consider their children to be gifted.

I am not a parent, so I can only speak from the perspective of a child. My mom taught me to read Chinese at a very young age. My parents and their neighbors tell me that I was three when I started to read newspapers and books. I only have vague memories of those times. Anyway, I do remember people calling me a “sheng tong”, which means “god child” or “genius child”. So as a result my dad decided that I should go to elementary school early. In China you are supposed to enter first grade if you are age six by June 30th of the school year. I was born in the latter half the year, so I wasn’t supposed to enter elementary school until I was almost seven. As a result, my classmates were 1 to 2 years older than me. When you are five years old that age difference is huge. I was the puniest child in the class and I had trouble with holding a pencil and copying Chinese characters over and over again. Nevertheless I did pretty well in class, and beat out the older children in math and language tests.

I was a bit weird socially, though. I remember that none of the girls wanted to play with me for some reason and my best friends were boys. Maybe it is because my maturity level was the same as boys since it’s generally accepted that boys are 1 to 2 years less mature than girls. I liked bugs, dirt, and running around. I finished 4th grade in China, and all the friends I remember are boys. I also distinctly remember that one of the popular girls hated me because I did better than her academically.  It’s kind of funny how passive aggressive most girls are.

After 4th grade, I moved to America, and I didn’t know any English.  At first I was put into the fifth grade class.  Since I didn’t understand anything it was pretty tough.  So my mom decided that I should move down to the fourth grade class.  This turned out to be a good choice because they put me in an English as a second language class and I was with children my age.  After a year or so I was able to catch up in English and I was really glad to be with kids the same age as me.  I wasn’t a super popular kid, but it felt like I was on equal ground as everyone else. I have pretty fond memories of secondary school in America because for the most part I was normal, and I had plenty of friends.

When you are a kid, you really don’t want to be a freak, and being younger than everyone else sort of singles you out.  Life is especially tough for a teenager who is quite a bit younger than everyone else and sometimes the results are quite tragic.  For example, during my freshman year of college a boy jumped from the tenth floor of the math building and killed himself.  From his blog I found that he entered college at the age of 16, and was isolated for his whole life because he was younger than everyone else. Loneliness made him jump. It is great to be academically gifted, but I think we are such social creatures that we all want to have friends and be loved.

I think what parents should do is to foster their kids interests, but don’t push them into a social environment they can’t handle. I know a couple real geniuses who never skipped a single grade.  They took advanced classes in the fields they were interested in, but they chose to finish school at a normal age.   I also have a brilliant friend who skipped a grade and is now a PhD candidate at MIT, but her emotional IQ is quite above average and she is fine.  Each person is different, but everyone has  less than 20 years to be a child, and so many more years to worry about annoying things such as finances, jobs, and relationships. Why would anyone want to  rush into adulthood? So here I say to the parents out there, let your kids be kids just a bit longer even if they are gifted.  An extra one to two years of childhood is really priceless and I sincerely thank my mom for letting me flunk 4th grade and be normal.

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Several years ago, many of my classmates and had hard times finding jobs. It seems that this situation may repeat itself again in the next couple years. There have been studies that state graduating in a recession sticks with a person’s career for a long time. Those who start off their careers in a recession generally has lower pay because they started at a lower point. Here are some tips for my younger friends who may suffer the misfortune of getting a diploma in an economic downturn.

canadian cialis buy- In a recession, I have seen people accept jobs at firms who paid very little or jobs completely outside of their field of study just because it is the only jobs they could find. I don’t think it is necessary to devalue yourself just because the general economy is in the ruts. Your time could be used to learn things or start your own ventures. If you are not desperate for money it is probably best to continue searching for a job that you want and a company that would value you for your services.

canadian cialis buy – Recessions are popular times to get more schooling because jobs are scarce. However, a full graduate school program can be extremely costly and you need to It may be cheaper and quicker to get professional certificates. I know there are many different certifications in IT and finance that could enhance a young person’s career without costing an arm and a leg.

canadian cialis buy- A lean economic period is probably the best time to learn to be frugal and use your money wisely. You may have to and move back home with the folks or , but you may be unemployed for a while and learning to survive on a shoestring is essential.

canadian cialis buy – Make sure you keep yourself informed about the general economy. The reason is that if you did accept a lower payrate during the recession you should know when your pay should be adjusted to the market rate. Otherwise, new grads who graduate after you may be paid more than you, and that may seem unfair, but you need to be aware when this happens and ask for a change. Otherwise, companies are happy to pay you less.

canadian cialis buy – There are some people who started their own businesses and never needed to find a job. For example, Ben Chui of was class 2002 or 2003 at my school, and he never needed to find a job amidst the recession because of the success of his website. If you want to start your own company you should go for it while you are young and have nothing to lose. It takes a lot of work to succeed and make a living, but it is definitely possible.

The bottom line is, don’t let what you can’t control discourage you and cut down your future. As long as you are flexible about what you want to do and have a drive to improve your life, you will beat any economic downturn and graduating in a recession would not matter at all.

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My success in Duke’s Lane strengthened my self esteem, but I knew that I couldn’t be a salesman at a souvenir shop forever. I was in America, and I was an alien. If I wanted to stay, I needed to go to school. In China I studied agricultural economics, and then changed my focus and studied economical law. My English skills were quite horrible, and law school in America required extremely high linguistic skills. I could not even understand the test to get into law school. So as I worked I tried my best to study English. I copied vocabulary words onto cards and tried my best to remember them. When I rode the bus or had extra time at work I would study vocabulary. After three months in America, I took the TOEFL and got a score of 540. This score was 10 points below the lowest requirement of the University of Hawaii’s economics department. Shortly after the test, I received a letter from the department informing that I was rejected. The letter also indicated that in addition to the TOEFL, the GRE was also required as of the spring semester of 1993.
When I read this letter, my heart sank to the floor. I thought that I have expended the effort of nine bulls and two tigers and I still didn’t qualify. Now I needed to study for the GRE, and I had no idea how long it would take for me to be able to get into graduate school. Actually, at that time I did qualify for Hawaii’s Pacific University, which is a private school that charged over $5000 per semester. There was no way I could afford the fee.

During this time, I took a day off from work. I helped Popo clean her yard and then fed the dozen or so red eared turtles in her backyard. Then I started to study. At this moment Popo’s third daughter Gloria came to visit. She is a highschool teacher and she takes turns with her siblings to take Popo out for strolls. Gloria is almost 50. She married a Japanese American many years ago, but he passed away more than ten years ago. She doesn’t have children, and so she visits quite often and is quite attentive to our family. Whenever she comes she would drive us to get groceries and sometimes she brought treats for my daughter.

This day, she saw that I was at home and asked about how I was doing. I told her that I was just rejected from UH, and I could not afford a private university. I was quite anxious and disheartened, but she told me to calm down, and told me that there is a community college named Kapi’olani Community College very close to the house, and it wouldn’t hurt for me to take a look.

I followed her directions and walked south on 16th Avenue for about ten minutes. Then I saw a beautiful campus surrounded by coconut trees and other tropical plants. When I walked into the campus I was pleasantly surprised. Due to a construction project that blocked the southern end of 16th Avenue, I didn’t see the campus when I first moved to Popo’s house. I didn’t know that there was such a beautiful place close to the house. I was mesmerized by the campus’ modern architecture, neatly landscaped gardens, and its grandiose backdrop of the ocean and Diamond Head. Nearly every building on the campus is named after a tropical plant native to Polynesia and Southeast Asia. For example, the cafeteria where I worked is named ‘Ohi’a, which is a small Hawaiian plant with bright red flowers. Another example is the art building, which is named after a very fragrant Hawaiian flower called Maile which is used in leis quite often. Basically, this college’s buildings and Hawaiian plants reflect the roots of Hawaiian culture.

If people say that Hawaii is paradise, then I would say that Kapi’olani Community College is like a small paradise inside paradise. When I first saw this beautiful campus, I fell deeply in love with the place.

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