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Okay obviously this post is a bit late for Thanksgiving, but I had a good time with my family and ate a lot of food last weekend.  Lately I haven’t been blogging much just because a lot of random things are happening.  I am swamped with real life so to speak.  While I have had time to sit down and write I did not have much to say so I didn’t write much.  So anyway, it’s December again, and it’s almost Christmas and the news is full of gloom of doom. I think to get away from all the depressing news I need to write down all the things I am thankful for.

First, I am very thankful for my family and friends.  I am just happy to be loved.   This year I am also grateful that I got to see my elderly grandparents in China.  They are a hilarious couple and I may write a story or two about them later.  If you want to read a little bit about them my hubby wrote .

Second, I am very thankful that my entire family amidst the massive layoffs in November My hubby is in the video game industry and apparently this industry is .  In fact, his company is still hiring people for new projects.  As long as we have a steady stream of income we should be able to ride out this recession without too much of a problem.

Third, I think a lot of people are thankful for this one – prices are going down on gas and food!  Actually the price of gasoline is $1.75 a gallon now on my street and that means my hubby and I would save around $100 a month on gas.  I have not seen those prices for gas for about 5 years.  I noticed that milk and bread also got a little bit cheaper and it is expected that food prices would come down a bit more.  This is definitely good news for people who need a little financial relief though some economists are worried about deflation, but that’s another story entirely.

Next,  I am happy that my sister in law is getting married.  I don’t talk to her all that much because she lives about 500 miles away, but she’s getting married in two weeks and that’s pretty exciting.  The hubby will be a groomsman and look all sharp.  She picked a very expensive tux rental and that annoyed me and my mother in law a little bit, but that’s just because we want to save money.  My father in law and hubby should look pretty good though.

Also,  I am thankful that my hubby and I got to go on vacation and  various weekend trips in the past year.  Okay, this is actually a story about my grandparents.  When we were  in my grandparents’ condo, my grandmother kept on telling me that I am so lucky that my husband is willing to travel with me.  Then she went on and complained that my grandfather was so cheap that he never took her traveling in their 54 years of marriage and now they are too old to go places.   My parents always say that I am frugal like my grandfather, but I am not that cheap!  I think there really needs to be a balance between hoarding your money and wasting your money and there is no point in hoarding your money senselessly because in the end you really can’t take it with you.

Finally, all of these things are gifts from God so all the thanks goes to Him.  I know that I have a lot more than most people in this world and I don’t take it lightly.  Everyday is truly a gift.

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Today I read an excellent article called .  The author pointed out several things married couples could do to improve their relationships with themselves and their money.  I should summarize them here with my personal experience.

online viagra sales canada – The hubby and I are pretty different in terms of our money management, but I think I am converting him into a saver.  We have talked quite a bit about retirement and having kids, and we generally agree with each other about what we want in the future.  Communication is definitely important in a marriage.

online viagra sales canada-  I keep a running spreadsheet of our incomes and expenses for each month and give the hubby a report at the end of every month just to let him know how we are doing.  This has worked fairly well for the past year.

online viagra sales canada – We are very supportive of each other’s careers right now.  We both have pretty good jobs as engineers.  If either of us had a great job opportunity elsewhere I think we would both be okay with a move.  online viagra sales canada

online viagra sales canada- We spend our fun money mostly on and   The hubby also loves games and gadgets.  As I wrote over a year ago, we where 2% of our income goes to entertainment.  That has and we still have a surplus in the entertainment fund.  As I wrote in my from yesterday, there needs to be a balance between pleasure spending and saving, and I think we are doing fairly well.  online viagra sales canada

online viagra sales canada – Fortunately, the hubby and I haven’t really had fights about money, but we’d probably use our parents as mediators if we did have some unlikely scuffle.

online viagra sales canada-  Both the hubby and I have credit cards, bank accounts, and investment accounts under our own names.  We also have a joint checking and investment account.  This is important because I think we should maintain our own credit histories. Also, we can’t have joint retirement accounts anyway.   So even though we are married I think we are both pretty financially independent.

online viagra sales canada- The hubby and I spend A LOT of time together when we are not working.  Sometimes it feels like too much, but that may change when we have kids.  We are definitely not workaholics and we like playing games and watching TV together quite a bit.  online viagra sales canada

Since many couples split up because of financial issues,  I feel that money management is an extremely important part of a healthy marriage. However, love and respect needs to come first before a couple can compromise on their money.  For example, I know that the hubby made a lot of concessions on the things he wanted to buy in the past year because he loves me and respects my saving ways. He also started to use coupons, FatWallet and subscribed to SlickDeals on his own (I am really proud of him).   On the other hand, I have also made compromises with the hubby and enjoyed spending more money and time with him.   He acknowledged that I am not as cheap as before.   Marriage is about becoming one single unit, and our attitudes toward money simply manifested how we balance each other.   I am having more fun with the hubby and  he’s glad that I am dealing  with the finances he  dislikes so it is a win-win situation.  So finally, I’d like to say that money management skills are able to be acquired, and if a couple really wants to fix their finances together then they can definitely do it, but if a couple do not care for each other enough to manage their money in a positive way together, then that may not be so easy to fix.  So my conclusion is that money management is much much easier than marriage management, and there is no reason not to tackle it first.

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So I am turning 25 this week, and last month the hubby found a singular white hair on my head. I guess I am getting old. Lately days have been passing by extremely quickly for me. I guess I have been quite busy at work so each day just passes by in the blink of an eye. Anyway, here are some of my thoughts about turning a quarter century old.

I look and sound younger than 25 in real life. A couple years ago I called my doctor to make a doctor’s appointment and the lady on the phone said to me, “Honey, can I get your father on the phone?” Apparently she thought I was making a prank call. The same thing happened when I called United Airlines about my airline miles. The customer service representative actually said to me that I sound like I’m 12 years old. I am also pretty short so sometimes people think I am a teenager. I have been carded at Blockbuster’s for renting an R rated movie and also carded at Trader Joe’s for buying a loaf of peach liqueur cake. It’s kind of funny sometimes, but it can also be a challenge. I know that it is tough for people to take me seriously in real life sometimes because I look like a little kid. Also, if I were a manager or something I imagine my reports would feel funny being an underling of a person that looks and sounds like a little girl. So in a way I am glad that I am getting older.

On the internet, several people who read my blogs have told me that they can’t believe that I am only 24 because I seem to know a lot of stuff and I can write somewhat coherently. Some people have said that I seem very mature for a 24 year old. I take that as a compliment to my writing, but in reality I am not all that mature. People who know me know that I am a pretty hyper person that laughs at fart jokes and enjoys slaughtering others in boardgames. I do keep a good handle on my finances and career, but those who know me would never describe me as mature. My husband would say that I am extremely immature.

Anyway, sometimes I do feel like I am a child pretending to be an adult and sometimes I feel guilty about earning more money than a lot of people in my parents’ generation. Ultimately, I am pretty thankful to have lived this long and experienced all that I have already experienced. One thing that I still think is pretty amazing is that if I weren’t my parents’ first child then I would probably have never been born because of . So I am thankful to God for letting me be the first fertilized egg in my mommy’s tummy, and I’m thankful to my parents for keeping me even though I am a girl.

I don’t know how many more years I have, but I will try to enjoy whatever time I get.

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It’s been a while since I translated a chapter of my dad’s story of how we immigrated to America and started a new life.  This is a bonus  story he wrote at the end of Chapter 3 that doesn’t have much to do with his new college life.  Anyway, it is an episode in our lives that is worth mentioning.  For more of my dad’s narrative see the category marked . Enjoy!

In the winter of 1992, I received an acceptance letter from Kap’iolani Community College.  Since I was an international student, I did not qualify for the inexpensive in state tuition.  The rate for international students was more than $1000 per semester.  Registration was due on 1/13 and classes started on 1/18.  When I was about to start school, two events happened.  One was a good thing, and the other was not.

First let me explain the joyous event.  When Helen was in college during the late 1970s she was a translator for a group of American educators that visited China.  Because of this she met an elementary teacher from Pensacola, Florida named Betty.  Betty’s husband was a retired military man of the United States Air Force.  At that time Betty was more than 60 years old but she was extremely interested in China.  After she met Helen she was quite interested in Helen’s education and life.  They became penpals for many years.  Even after we were married they kept on writing each other.  After Xin was born Betty was quite interested in Xin’s growth and education.  Everytime Xin had a birthday she would send some books and gifts.  When Helen arrived in Hawaii, the person that came to pick her up from the airport was Betty’s good friend.

After Xin and I came to America, Betty wrote us a letter saying that she is preparing a surprise for Xin.  Right before Christmas we received a letter from Los Angeles from a woman named Lynn.  In the envelope there were three roundtrip tickets from Hawaii to LA and three tickets to Disneyland worth 56 dollars each.  The letter said that we were invited as guests of the Presbyterian Church to a Christmas in Los Angeles.  Later we found out that this was the surprise Betty was talking about.

This was our first Christmas in America.  Lynn had a Ford, and she drove us from the Los Angeles Airport to her home.  Lynn is also a elementary school teacher, and her husband is a professor at UCLA.  They have two children, one boy and one girl.  The boy is the older child and his name is John.  He just graduated from college and his major was English.  However, he joined a fishing company and worked on the oceans as a fisherman.  I heard from Lynn that being a fisherman is hard and dangerous work and the pay was not spectacular, but John was  young and wanted to broaden his experience.  His parents thought that it was a good idea and did not protest.  At that time, I honestly didn’t understand the mindset of American parents.  I always thought that when children graduate from college they should go to graduate school and join academia, and I would never allow my child to do such hard and dangerous work.  However, after being in America for a while I understood more of the American educational system.  I think perhaps this type of hard labor is a lesson   American parents hope that their children could learn.  Perhaps in those dangerous waves, John could receive the inspiration Hemingway had when he wrote “The Old Man and the Sea”.

That week, Lynn’s church had a volunteer to drive us somewhere every single day.  We went to Disneyland and Xin was extremely excited and had a wonderful time.  Additionally,  we toured Hollywood and went to many different museums.  Nevertheless, that Christmas we were extremely happy.  I wanted to thank Lynn and her family for being such gracious hosts so I bought a chicken from the supermarket and made a Chinese style roast chicken.  I put many different ingredients and also sticky rice inside the stomach of the chicken and baked it for three hours until the skin was crispy and brown.  Lynn’s family tasted my chicken and praised it quite a bit, and said that I should visit them more often.

We could never forget that event and Betty’s love for our family.  A little over five years ago I and Helen visited Betty in Florida.  At that time, she was more than 80.  I cooked several Chinese dishes for her and when she heard that we both had great jobs and Xin was studying at UC Berkeley she felt very relieved.  Today, even though Betty already left us, her smiles and voice is still often remembered in our family.

Addendum from Xin:  I still remember that Christmas really clearly even thought it has been more than fifteen  years because it was beautiful.  The funniest moment I remember was that Lynn’s family sat down to pray over the food, and my dad didn’t quite understand it.  So when they said something like, “Thank you for this food”, my dad blurted out something like “no problem!” because he cooked the chicken.  My mom was embarrassed and then explained it to him later.  It’s still pretty funny when I think of it.

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Some time ago I wrote and how they could drive you crazy. I haven’t had any super crazy boss, but I have had some nice bosses. Today I want to discuss the phenomenon when nice bosses actually encourage me to work harder voluntarily.

My current boss is really nice. He is really easy going and trusts people to work on their own. He wants us to get things done, but he never pushes extremely hard. He always allows people to take care of their personal hardships first and seems to truly care about his team. This week I asked for a day off for Friday because of the . So I asked if he would sign my vacation form, and he said don’t worry about it and just go. Then he told our entire team that we could take the whole week off because we just finished our release. This is actually the second time he negotiated with upper management to give us a week off. When our team is on a deadline we do work pretty hard and put in time late at night or on weekends so the days off are like a release bonus for all of us. Now the hubby says that I can use the time to clean the house and lose some weight. I’m not sure if that will really happen, but I could try.

I think nice bosses actually encourage me to work harder. When I am left alone and not prodded constantly I tend to finish my tasks faster. The key takeaway here is that if a boss leaves you alone to do your tasks it shows that he or she trusts you. Having that trust allows me to do the best I can do. I think if I had a crazy boss that looked over my shoulders constantly while I worked I would be pretty annoyed and just try to get him or her off my back as soon as possible.

Another thing is that by being nice, a boss actually instills loyalty in his or her reports. I know that in a previous article about I wrote that there isn’t much loyalty between employees and companies these days, but there I believe loyalty still exists between people. For example, my team at work all share the same goal when we are working, and we all want our product to be the best so that everyone on the team can look good in the company. Having a nice leader makes me want success for the entire team because in a way I don’t want to disappoint them.

Finally, I believe that having a competent and nice boss is really better than having a higher salary because to me a friendly working environment is more important than money. What do you think? Do nice bosses naturally encourage you to work harder?

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