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So my hubby and I just finished watching Beauty and the Geek Season 4. This is one of my guilty pleasure shows and it’s about a bunch of socially inept geeks and a crowd of gorgeous people working together to change themselves. The winners are supposed to be the couple that went through the largest transformation. This season one of my husband’s college classmates was on it. At first he would laugh at me when I watch the show and then he saw the lone female geek Nicole Morgan and said, “wait a minute, she looks like my friend Niky”. Then I looked up her bio and indeed she really is my hubby’s former classmate. It was quite amusing when he pulled out his Caltech yearbook and found Nicole’s picture and then commented, “they made her geekier looking for the show.” Since then he has rooted for Nicole to win, but unfortunate the final winner was determined by a vote and I think Nicole’s partner Sam was not very popular with the voting audiences so they lost as a team. The prize is $250,000 split between a couple, and as the host announced the prize he said, “a couple’s life is about to change!” My hubby and I both said along the lines of, “that’s not enough money to change their lives!” So after the show I thought about how much money people would need to change their lives. I thought about the events that defined the state of my life, and perhaps I was wrong to say that half of $250,000 can’t change someone’s life. Here are some ways someone’s life could change and their associated costs.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy– $125,000 is enough for someone to go to college and get a degree that propels them into a good career. Or it could be used for a professional degree or vocational training that could be used to start a new life.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — I think $125,000 can make a big dent in most people’s debt. I truly believe that being free of debt that continually drains you is a good thing that can change people’s lives.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy- Previously, I wrote about these days. Nevertheless I think it’s important to have a wedding without going into debt. Marriage is absolutely life changing.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — One of my friend is pregnant right now and another one had a baby about 1.5 years ago. The process of raising a child could cost up to a million dollars, but every mommy I have met say that having a child changed their perspective on life.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy– I sincerely hope that donating a bit of money or items every month or year changes someone’s life out there. a flock of chicks for a family in need and feed malnourished children. It really doesn’t take much to change someone’s life by giving.

Everyone’s circumstance is different, but the important thing to remember is how we use our money. We don’t necessarily need millions to change our lives, but we need to be open to change and be willing to direct our resources towards improving our lives. I hope the winners of Beauty and the Geek will use their windfall wisely, and truly change themselves and the world.

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I come from a fairly small family. Each of my parents has one sister and each family has an only child. So basically I have a total of four uncles and aunts and two first cousins and only one aunt’s family is here in the Bay Area. The holidays usually involves a dinner or two with my aunt’s family and a few other family friends. Now that I am married I suddenly gained at least two dozen or so fairly immediate family members here in the Bay Area. It is kind of interesting and fun to me, but I hear from many people with huge families that the holiday season is the most stressful time of the year. I suppose it makes sense because the more people there are in a family there is more likely to be disagreements. Also, having a big family may be a financial burden if you are supposed to throw a feast and bring everyone gifts.

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Recently I read an article titled on Forbes.com and I wondered if wealth can be detrimental to a marriage. The article was based on a survey 433 independently wealthy men and women and the conclusion is that almost half say that they’re unhappy in their marriage and more than half have been unfaithful in the past three years. Those unhappy with their marriage also fear divorce would be very costly and hurt their business dealings so they stay together. The article was focused on the wealthy and it makes you wonder if money affects the quality of a marriage. This leads me to ask, can wealth be detrimental to a marriage?

I believe that wealth is generally a good thing in marriage because it gets rid of worries about affording basic needs. However, as my ex-roommate always said, “marriages are difficult at best”. So I think the problem with having a tremendous amount money in a marriage is that the focus shifts to the cash rather than the spouse. For example, what I found interesting in the Forbes article is that most of the wealth of these couples were accumulated during marriage, and yet 75% of those with assets over 10 million agreed that marriage hindered their financial success. I can see instances where a marriage can hinder one’s financial success. For example, a married person who has to take care of a spouse and children is less likely to take large financial risks or be very mobile to take on new jobs and opportunities. However, these wealthy folks ARE very successful and they did it while married. So the fact that they think their marriage hindered their financial success means that they don’t think they are as successful as they hope to be. This makes me think that they are more focused on their money than their marriage.

Another “problem” with accumulating a massive amount of wealth during a marriage is that people can change from working together to working against each other. What I mean is that when young couples get together and have nothing they try to work together to make a better life, and sometimes when that better life is achieved people get more possessive of the things they have. That is why in the Forbes article a large percentage of the wealthy have hidden and protected assets. I think this is another example of putting money over marriage.

I also find it funny and ironic that money keeps unhappy people together because it is too costly for them to get a divorce. I hope that I will never get to that stage in my marriage. Ultimately, money is inanimate and neutral and shouldn’t be detrimental to marriages

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So a couple weeks ago I wrote about my and the article became quite popular. What I found quite entertaining is how people found that article through Google. Here’s a list of the various searches:

  1. my boyfriend is tight with money
  2. my boyfriend is cheap
  3. my boyfriend doesn’t like to pay
  4. stingy boyfriend
  5. my boyfriend never pays for my movie tickets
  6. why doesn’t my wealthy boyfriend buy me anything (this is my favorite)

It seems that a lot of these women are searching for answers to why their boyfriends are so cheap. In a funny way it reminded me of my grandmother who still complains that my granddad is so cheap that he bought only sweet yams for their dates. She says she really expected her future husband to buy her some good meat to eat. Well, now they’ve been married for 54 years and the world has changed quite a bit, but it seems that men are still expected to woo a woman by pulling out their wallets. Why is this still the social norm now that a lot of women have their own incomes and careers? What do women really expect men to spend in a courtship?

I think most boys in this country are taught at a young age that they will need to spend money on women. For example, my hubby went to an all boys Catholic high school and he said that’s where he learned women are expensive. He had a class called Christian Lifestyles and his teacher brought in a vacuum sealed wedding dress belonging to the missus. Then the teacher threw the dress on the floor and stepped on it and said something along the lines of “I spent so much money on this useless piece of clothing! Women are expensive!”. In addition to education at school, the media also does a good job in popularizing the notion that a man only has to be wealthy to attract women. I completely understand why other women want men with money from the biological perspective of child rearing. Generally raising children takes a lot of resources and a wealthy man is more attractive because his money is a security blanket for starting a family. However, a lot of women don’t want children, but they still expect their men to take care of them and in this case I think when men spend money it shows a willingness to provide.

Personally, I do not want my hubby to spend a lot of money on me, because I don’t see money as an expression of love. The other day I asked my hubby if he were glad that I am not an expensive wife, and he said, ” you ARE expensive!” Then I asked him why he thinks so and he replied, “you’re expensive because you suck my time and sanity, and those things can’t be recovered. Money can be replaced!” I think he was just joking. The hubby has found out a long time ago that I prefer his time much more than gifts that can be bought. He has given me some very cool and romantic gifts that he spent a lot of time and effort on. For example, he wrote my name in gold molecules with an electron microscope and sent me the finished product which was about 10 nanometers wide. I thought it was an awesomely geeky gift. He said that he heard of a book called and figured out that I like love to be expressed as quality time. He is a very smart man, and that’s why I married him.

Can the issue of money really be removed from human courtship? I am not sure. But I propose a challenge to all the Google users with cheap boyfriends: ask yourselves what your “love language” is. Do you really want your boyfriend/husband to spend more money on you? Or do you just want them to spend more time with you and shower you with love and affection?

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The is officially over. The hubby and I have settled into our new married life together and our financial union is still a little confusing to say the least. We have a joint checking account now and we are paying our bills through that account, but it really feels like our expenses have gone up because I never used to see how much the hubby spent. It makes me wonder if marriage would make our costs go up or go down. I asked a few married coworkers this question and all of them said that after they got married they are spending a lot more than before. However, all of these coworkers are men and one of them has a wife that’s still going to school so he has to support her. So I decided to make a comparison of our current expenditures with our former expenditures here and see what would happen.

Here are the areas where we’re saving money:

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — The hubby used to pay for all of the utilities at his apartment even though he had a roommate. I shared the utility bills with my roommates but it still came out to be $50 to $70 a month. Currently, our cable tv, water, and garbage are included in the rent so that’s also a big plus. Before we got married the hubby was paying for water and garbage also. I estimate that the utitlies savings would add up to approximately $1500 to $2000 a year just because we now live together.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — We haven’t been eating out as often, but cooking isn’t as cheap as I thought. The only spare time we have to cook is on the weekends so the hubby tries to make a lot of food that lasts for a few days. Our food bills aren’t significantly lowered because we also hosted a couple dinners during the weekends. Hopefully we will save more in the future by eating out less. I estimate that we should be able to save $1000 to $2000 a year on food.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy– We’re no longer driving back and forth between our apartments. The hubby is also now ten miles closer to work so he’s saving much more on gas everyday. I am about four miles farther from work but it works out that our total mileage driven is still reduced. Our gas bill for the past month has been very small and I hope it stays that way. Our estimated savings for gas is about $400 to $600 a year.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — I wrote about when the insurance company raised the hubby’s rates. Now that we’re married the new insurance company gave the hubby a discounted six months rate that is about $360 lower! I’m pretty happy about that and our next insurance rate reduction will be the 25 year old discount. That’s coming up soon for the hubby and we should be able to shave some more dollars off.

So far, it sounds like marriage is great and we’re saving thousands of dollars, but here are the areas where we’re spending more:
brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — The marriage penalty is going to hit us this year and I’m not quite sure how much more we would be paying. If we weren’t married we would both be in the 25% marginal tax bracket since we both contribute a fairly good amount of our salaries to our 401ks. However marriage pushes us to the next bracket. The extra taxes we pay will probably wipe out all the savings we receive from living together. I’m not quite sure what the point of the marriage penalty is besides keeping families living on one income. From my point of view it seems to be such an anti-marriage and anti-women tax policy. However, one thing that could mitigate our taxes is our charitable contributions. It is possible that we may still remain in the 25% tax bracket, but it’s pretty unlikely.

brand viagra online canadian pharmacy — Originally we both had roommates that shared the rent. Now we are roommates with each other so our rent seems like such a large number. In actuality it’s only $160 more a month than our combined rents previously. This basically negates the utilities savings.

We don’t have kids yet, but many people have already told me that children will increase our expenditures by quite a bit. So, my current analysis of our expenses is still sort of inconclusive because we are saving quite a bit, and yet it seems like we’re spending more. So to my single readers, do you think that you’ll save more money after you get married? And to my married readers, do you spend more or less now that you’re married? Where are the savings from and where is the extra money going? I haven’t really asked a woman this question yet because most of my coworkers and friends are men and pretty much all of them think that women are expensive. So, feel free to give me your input!

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