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One of the most popular posts on this blog is since apparently many people search Google about Asian parents.  Now that I am an Asian parent I thought it is time to revisit what I wrote and what I think I would do differently from the typical Asian parents.

First of all, my parents still want me to get a masters degree and they actually offered to pay for it.  It is very generous, but I think I will pass for now.  If I wanted a master’s degree I can pay for it myself, and I would have done it a long time ago.  I think Asian parents do give their children too much financial support and I would not be supporting my child if he were 27 and had a family already.  He should be independent by then.  There are too many Asian parents that I know who are supporting their adult children financially, and I will not do that to any of my kids.  I really think that this endless financial support   stunts children’s  ability to be independent adults.  Although I only have a college degree, I think my parents are proud that I am independent and don’t need their support.  They often tell me stories of other people’s children who are still living off the bank of mom and dad.  They are also happy to be grandparents, and being Asian, now they are bragging to their friends that they are the first to be grandparents while their friends brag about their kids’ advanced degrees.

Next,  I would let my kid choose whatever career he wanted as long as it’s not criminal.  As long as he could survive on his own and is happy then  it is fine.  I don’t really see a point in comparing my kid to others.  When I told my mom that she just kept on saying that I have to tell my kid to aim high and that if I don’t do that my son would accomplish even less than what I did.   I have no idea what she means because I am a pretty well compensated engineer.  In fact, I make more money than my mom now even though she has a masters degree, but that’s a whole other gripe she has.  I guess what she means is that I don’t have an advanced degree, and that I should tell my kid to aim “high”.  The truth is, many of the most successful people in the world do not have advanced degrees, and if my kid doesn’t want an advanced degree but have a passion or talent that works for him, then that is great, too.   If you get an advanced degree just for “face”, then it is pretty useless.   One thing I will try to teach my kid is that he has to work hard for whatever he wants, because his parents will not be around forever and inherent talent can only go so far.

Ultimately, I want my son  to be happy, healthy, and independent.  He doesn’t need to be an engineer or have a PhD, but if he wants to do those things it is fine, too.  I will love him and raise him the best way I know how, but I will not support him once he is an adult.   We will see how he turns out in twenty years or so.

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generic viagra no prescription uson 07.14.10 at 4:28 pm

I like how it sounds like you maintain a good relationship with your parents, but you don’t let them control your beliefs and how you choose to live your life. :)

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