Thoughts on being a food dispenser

For the past week and a half my daily routine has consisted mostly of feeding the baby and sleeping while the little guy is sleeping.   I have barely had time to read the news or email.  I always knew that I would breastfeed because breast milk is “free” food for the baby and I don’t care much about what my boobs look like, but I have to admit that it is a lot harder than I thought it would be.   Everyday the little guy asks to eat more than ten times, and I feel like he is constantly attached to my boobs.   These are my thoughts on being a walking talking  milk dispenser.

The hubby has been a lot of help in cleaning the house and changing diapers, but when it comes to feedings he just doesn’t really have the equipment.  At those 4 am feedings,  as Lynette from Desperate Housewives said, I am  “the only bar in town” for the little guy.    It takes at least 30 minutes for the baby to drift off to dreamland with my nipple in his mouth and a dribble of milk down his cheek. Meanwhile I am nodding off and trying not to drop him.  I am getting used to these feedings in the middle of the night, so they are not so bad now.  My hubby is also able to get quite a bit of sleep through the night now so he is feeling less tired during the day.

The more bizarre aspect about breastfeeding is how the baby seems to have a remote control on my boobs.  One time I was doing some business in the bathroom, and he woke up and cried for food.  I wasn’t finished, and I just felt this tingly itch in my boobs and a few drops of milk dripped on my thigh.  Apparently this is called letdown, and it is really the weirdest thing I have ever experienced.  I basically get this urge to shove my boobs into his mouth to relieve the itch.   How can this helpless little chubby guy control my body like this?

I also find the look on my baby’s face both endearing and frightening when he gets close to my breast.  He makes the most animalistic grunts with his mouth wide open and shakes his head from side to side as if he is possessed. Then he latches on like a rabid little beast and starts gulping down milk.  After a few minutes he would slow down and revert back to the peaceful little baby he usually looks like.  I don’t know if all babies do this, but the ferocity in my child’s face when he sees a breast is quite funny.

I am trying to pump a bit of extra milk every day just for the times that I cannot feed him, but I think my breasts are still trying to catch up to the demand of the little nugget  so I cannot spare too much milk, yet.   So far the bottles I pumped really helped in calming the baby during a couple doctor’s appointments, and today my mom fed the baby with one of my bottles and I think it was fun for her.

Another positive side effect of this marathon feeding schedule is that I am losing the fat I gained during pregnancy.  I am only 4 to 7 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight now and I am on track to lose the extra weight I had.  Of course, my hypercritical Asian mom is still saying that I am fat even though I just had a baby 11 days ago.

Overall, I think  breastfeeding is  very worthwhile for us even though I do feel like a food dispenser for my spawn.  The little guy rarely spits up milk, and he has gained enough bulk to be above his birth weight.  I know that we are fortunate that the baby is able to get enough food from my breasts and he is taking the milk well and the free breastfeeding class we took at Kaiser definitely helped.  My hubby loves that breastfeeding is very easy and clean because it doesn’t involve washing bottles or mixing formula.  He actually said to me that he cannot believe that many women do not even try to breastfeed because it is the most economic and easy way to feed a baby.   Then again, men do not have to deal with cracked nipples and tingly letdown.  I will definitely try to continue feeding the baby breast milk for as long as I can, even though it will be a little tricky when I start work again.

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