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The hubby and I will be finding out the gender of our baby on Wednesday morning.  According to this , I will be having a boy, but the hubby really wants a girl.  He made a bet with me that if it is a girl I will buy him a boardgame, and if it is a boy he will buy me some salted caramels that I have been craving.  Anyway, we have actually had this discussion before about how much it would cost to raise a son versus  how much it would cost to raise a daughter.  Here are some of our observations and other people’s research.

First of all, lets start with my family.  If you have been following this blog you’d know that I am an only child due to the only child policy in China so my parents had no one to spend money on besides me.  However, I do have a male cousin that was born just three days earlier than me.  He is really the closest relation I have to a brother and we played together almost every weekend when we were kids.  I came to the United States when I was nine and my cousin is still currently in China.  In China it is pretty much given that middle class parents would spend a lot more money on a boy due to education and wedding expenses.  Even though single female children are also prized in the cities they do not come with the wedding costs.  Middle and upper class Chinese parents of a son are expected to provide the wedding banquet, gifts, and in most cases a home for their son when they get married.  A girl just has to find a nice family to marry into, but urban families do spend quite a bit of money on the education of female children these days that rival their educational expenditure on a male child.  My family has met quite a few singleton Chinese females who are studying in the United States with almost of all of their parents’ money.  But overall,  in my family I would say that a male child is more expensive due to the Chinese tradition of providing a lot more for a son.  However, I did get married in America and the custom here is that the bride’s family pays for a wedding, and my parents were very generous, but the percentage of money they spent on me compared to their income probably pales to what my aunt and uncle have spent on my cousin.  In China parents really sacrifice everything for their only children, and the burden on parents who have a son is definitely greater than those who have a daughter.

Now the hubby’s family has one boy and one girl and both were raised in America.  From my point of view his parents spent a similar amount of money on both of them.  Both of them went to private schools for their entire sixteen years of education and the hubby’s parents provided money or equity towards real estate purchases for both of them.  I’m not too sure about the smaller expenditures during their childhood, but it seems that both kids were quite expensive regardless of gender. So in the hubby’s family it seems that gender did not matter.  I am sure that one of them cost more than the other if you added up every single cost line by line, but for the most part I think the big expenses were similar and the hubby’s parents sacrificed a lot for both of them.

According to last year, boys actually cost more than girls.  This was based on a survey conducted by a company called GE Money on 2000 British parents. Supposedly this is due to the fact that boys want more expensive toys like electronics and girls want cheaper toys.  We do see this a bit in the hubby’s younger cousins.  A girl cousin is happy with small things like lotions and nail polish but her brother usually loves getting video games and gaming consoles, which are a lot more expensive.  Boy’s clothing is also more expensive because there is less competition.  This is true of men’s and women’s clothes, too.  If you haven’t noticed, the women’s or girl’s departments are usually bigger at stores, and with more brands competing the prices are cheaper.  I think another factor in why boys would cost more than girls is that boys are more assertive in what they want.  When you ask a boy what they want for their birthday or Christmas they can usually tell you, but a girl can be less direct or less decisive.  So as a result, parents are more likely to buy things for boys because boys  made their wishes known.

Anyway, if we have a boy we might not have to spend extra money on  electronic gadgets because his daddy would have all the latest toys already.  We have already talked about a plan to rent out my hubby’s video game consoles to our kid.  For example, we can exchange gaming time for chores done.  That would be a while in the future, but the hubby is excited at the prospect of playing board and video games with our kid already.  We are definitely prepared for the kid financially regardless of the gender, but it is interesting to think that raising a child of one gender could cost less than raising one of  the other gender.

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viagra alternativeon 06.09.09 at 1:57 am

wow, you actually wrote an article on which gender cost more to raise… that’s geek’tastic!

viagra alternativeon 06.09.09 at 3:22 pm

I can see how a boy might cost more with regard to gifts and even allowance. Take prom for example. Some parents might expect and be willing to pay for their son to buy the tickets, drive (or pay for part of the transport), get flowers, pay for dinner, etc., and they might be inclined to pay for those things.

But in general I’d imagine that in that same family the daughter would probably cost at least as much in terms of the dress, makeup shoes, getting hair done, etc. at least in America.

So dollar for dollar I think families probably spend the same on their kids. Even if you carry it all the way through to marriage, while the girl’s family might pay for the wedding, the boy’s family probably pays for the rings and honeymoon and rehearsal dinner – which can easily match that price.

viagra alternativeon 06.09.09 at 6:24 pm

I’m from a family of three girls and one boy. The one thing that my brother has cost my parents much more than any of us girls is in medical related expenses. He’s probably been in the ER more times than his age. Half of the time his accidents are from stunts gone wrong.

Like the time he crashed into a car and the bike handle hit his collar bone and broke it.

Or the time he was fooling around with a used parachute in 70mph winds and somehow it involved a sheet of plywood? Don’t ask me, he ended up with a very badly sprained wrist and some stitches.

Then there was another time he was playing with the little fuel packs for home-launched rockets and set it on fire. The explosion burned his hand and he had to have daily bandage changes for his fingers for several weeks.

Also my brother was more destructive than any of us girls. He like to break things apart and see what would happen. He took a sledgehammer to a non-working TV to see what the screen shatter would look like. :P

The good news is that at 20 years old, he earns more money than any of his sisters… so he can afford to pay for boo-boos! :)

viagra alternativeon 06.11.09 at 3:43 am

We we were 2 boys and 2 girls in my family and I think my folks spent equally for each of us (fluctuated depending on where we were in life at the moment.) Now I have a son and though it is early days yet (he’s only 5) I don’t spend half as much on him as my friends with girls spend on their kids. Fewer clothes (I buy second-hand and he could care less about name brands), no make-up or ballet classes, no fancy dolls or wooden houses or kitchen sets or princess costumes…give my boy a stick and some dirt and he’s happy as a clam. Guess it all boils down to personal choice/taste and how much you’re willing to spend. We’ll see what it’s like in a few years – although I seriously don’t forsee buying him any video game consoles or anything…great last words!

viagra alternativeon 06.16.09 at 9:28 am

“We might not have to spend extra money on electronic gadgets because his daddy would have all the latest toys already.” To me, this is the funniest line in your post! That is probably because I can relate to it personally. Anyway, congratulations on the baby.

viagra alternativeon 06.24.09 at 9:04 am

hahaha, so true about daddy having the latest toys :)

viagra alternativeon 06.30.09 at 8:12 am

I have 2 daughters and a son. Unless the boy plays an expensive sport, I don’t see how it costs more to raise a boy than a girl.

Girl clothes are so much more fun to shop for that my girls end up owning way more outfits than my boy. Plus there are all the accessories to go with each outfit. For my boy, I’m likely to buy just the top and the pants. For one of my girls, I’m likely to buy a top, a pair of pants AND a skirt, the matching socks, the matching tights, the matching headband or barrettes, etc.

I just spent several hundred dollars on a sewing machine because my oldest girl is all into crafts and has outgrown her cheapie kid model. I’ve never had to spend that much on one of my son’s hobbies.

My oldest girl enjoys attending arts performances like the symphony, the opera, the ballet, etc. Those usually run $50-$90 for the two of us to go. My son is happy watching a football game on TV with his dad.

The one thing I can see is the medical costs. I’ve had to take my son more times to the ER than both my girls together.

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