Managing your money = Managing your marriage?

Today I read an excellent article called The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters.  The author pointed out several things married couples could do to improve their relationships with themselves and their money.  I should summarize them here with my personal experience.

Talk and share goals – The hubby and I are pretty different in terms of our money management, but I think I am converting him into a saver.  We have talked quite a bit about retirement and having kids, and we generally agree with each other about what we want in the future.  Communication is definitely important in a marriage.

Run a home like a business -  I keep a running spreadsheet of our incomes and expenses for each month and give the hubby a report at the end of every month just to let him know how we are doing.  This has worked fairly well for the past year.

Be supportive of careers – We are very supportive of each other’s careers right now.  We both have pretty good jobs as engineers.  If either of us had a great job opportunity elsewhere I think we would both be okay with a move. 

Enjoy, but within reason - We spend our fun money mostly on food and vacations.  The hubby also loves games and gadgets.  As I wrote over a year ago, we started a budget where 2% of our income goes to entertainment.  That has worked out quite well and we still have a surplus in the entertainment fund.  As I wrote in my Wise Bread article from yesterday, there needs to be a balance between pleasure spending and saving, and I think we are doing fairly well. 

Use a mediator – Fortunately, the hubby and I haven’t really had fights about money, but we’d probably use our parents as mediators if we did have some unlikely scuffle.

Maintain some independence -  Both the hubby and I have credit cards, bank accounts, and investment accounts under our own names.  We also have a joint checking and investment account.  This is important because I think we should maintain our own credit histories. Also, we can’t have joint retirement accounts anyway.   So even though we are married I think we are both pretty financially independent.

Invest in your marriage - The hubby and I spend A LOT of time together when we are not working.  Sometimes it feels like too much, but that may change when we have kids.  We are definitely not workaholics and we like playing games and watching TV together quite a bit. 

Since many couples split up because of financial issues,  I feel that money management is an extremely important part of a healthy marriage. However, love and respect needs to come first before a couple can compromise on their money.  For example, I know that the hubby made a lot of concessions on the things he wanted to buy in the past year because he loves me and respects my saving ways. He also started to use coupons, FatWallet and subscribed to SlickDeals on his own (I am really proud of him).   On the other hand, I have also made compromises with the hubby and enjoyed spending more money and time with him.   He acknowledged that I am not as cheap as before.   Marriage is about becoming one single unit, and our attitudes toward money simply manifested how we balance each other.   I am having more fun with the hubby and  he’s glad that I am dealing  with the finances he  dislikes so it is a win-win situation.  So finally, I’d like to say that money management skills are able to be acquired, and if a couple really wants to fix their finances together then they can definitely do it, but if a couple do not care for each other enough to manage their money in a positive way together, then that may not be so easy to fix.  So my conclusion is that money management is much much easier than marriage management, and there is no reason not to tackle it first.

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