Where Can I Find a Magical Mountain?

This story comes from my friend The Retirement Hobo.  He has really finished working and is now traveling around Asia like a retirement hobo should.  He is sending his friends emails and I really liked this story so I asked him if I could post this story on my blog.  He said YAHHH!!! So here it is!
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Just wanted to share one day with you all.

A few days ago, a friend introduced me to his private mountain.  That’s right, a mountain.  He bought it years ago as an investment property but the license fell through and now he turned it into a farm where he and his family can camp out and eat fresh organic vegetables and tropical fruits he grows and barbecue fresh farmed trout from their pond.

We entered the gate that marked the mountain he owned…that’s right, a mountain…and it was so nice.  The weather was semi-tropical, a slight mist in the air, with the sunset beaming the day’s last rays through the myriad of trees, scattering light onto the stone path.  We drove a few hundred meters and reached his man-made cottage and barn.  There was some ducks and geese chilling by the lake and a bunch of vegetables and fruits growing in an orchard.

One of the fruits, when literally translated from Chinese (neither of us knew the English name) is called the “Fire Dragon Fruit” and was named because of its fire-reddish color that mixed in shades of orange and yellow (kinda like a mango) and it’s skin made it seem like it had scales (kinda like an artichoke).  It grew on a huge cactus that vined around and its flower was a huge tropical-looking red blossom (kinda like that plant that kills you in the movie, Jumanji).

His cottage had electricity and running water somehow (I’m guessing magic), and he put on a hot pot of water to boil some organic fresh tea he picked straight up from the garden.  We took a little hike and he pointed out the pond of fish, a waterfall and a creek, and various small reptiles and lizards.

We settle down on his porch and he tells me to get ready for some show that his magical mountain…that’s right, a magical mountain…was about to start.  He turns off all the lights and we wait.  A steady stream of water, frogs ribits, and other loud insects keeps the silence away while we wait.  Then a flicker of light flashes in the trees…too quick and sudden to be the sun, which has already completely set.  Then slowly, a chorus of small flashing lights, like lighters at a P-Diddy concert remembering B.I.G. while he raps “I’ll be missing you”, lights up the mountain.  Turns out, it was mating season for fireflies and his private mountain….that’s right, fireflies….was one of the few places left that had the right amount of water, humidity, firefly food for us to view them in the density that we saw.

Thousands of lights twinkle on and off lighting the forest.  We were able to catch them in our hands and make them flash lights to the music of Kanye West’s “Stronger” bumping from my iphone.  Well….not really, but we were able to catch them and that was kinda cool.

Anyways, that was one of my better days.  I hope the excruciatingly painful details I provided was a good alternative to my usual banter of falling off fences, psychobabble about father and son, and dudes that looks like ladies.  I’ll write some direct replies to your emails now too since I have all day on the internet today.

Until next time, kids.

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