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My short life has taken place in three distinct places separated by oceans. They are China, Hawaii, and the San Francisco Bay Area. In terms of income, my family has made more money in the Bay Area than any other place in the world. However, I am not sure that our quality of life has drastically improved from the times when we were dirt poor. It is a bit mind boggling, but here is a side by side comparison of the places I have lived, and how my experience of life isn’t really vastly improved by money.

When I was young, China just opened up to the west, but most agencies were still state owned. My parents were college professors so we lived a pretty middle class lifestyle. We lived in a condo provided by their employer and had enough for all of our basic needs. The biggest purchase my parents made was a color television, and it worked quite well for many many years. I remember watching Ninja Turtles, Denver the Last Dinosaur, The Smurfs, and lots of other American cartoons from the eighties. The government also provided health care and schooling so everything seemed quite fine to me. The education I got in Chinese public schools was quite excellent and definitely gave me an advantage in school later. I knew that my parents didn’t have much money, but for the most part I felt that we had everything we needed. As far as I know, apparently many American people my age had the same kind of middle class suburban childhood as I did, and even watched the same cartoons.

Then we moved to Hawaii, and my parents were students and had no money at all. However,we always had a place to live and I qualified for the free lunch program at my school so I don’t remember ever going hungry. Hawaii is also a beautiful place and I loved living there. There was a kid in my class who came from Los Angeles and he hated Hawaii. I didn’t understand why he hated Hawaii, but he said it was because it is an island and it is so damn small. Since my family didn’t own a car, I felt that the island was huge. I didn’t understand why anyone would hate Hawaii, and I still don’t.

After my parents graduated from school we moved to the San Francisco Bay Area because my aunt already lived here and the economy in Hawaii isn’t that good. They both found jobs and we got a nicer apartment, and then a house, and cars to get to work.  In terms of material wealth, we did have more.  However, the entire Bay Area lifestyle was just so much more stressful than any other place we have ever been. People are just much more competitive and aggressive here and even after ten years I don’t think I am used to it. My parents made more money, but I don’t think our family became happier because of money. Instead, I think money actually created a lot more stress and worry for my parents and me. As they say, “mo’ money, mo’ problems”.

So now my husband and I both pull in decent incomes, and to some people it may seem that we make a lot of money for our age, but I feel that our quality of life is perhaps a little lower than my childhood in China. We have to deal with driving , the lack of job security, and potentially substandard education for our future children. We do live a comfortable life, and we are thankful, but I still long for a simpler and less stressful place to live. Perhaps my memories of China and Hawaii are a bit idyllic because I was still a child, but I would seriously give up my income to live in a place where things didn’t move so fast and the basics of quality education, health care, and housing are not so hard to come by.

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best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 12:52 am

Any blog you write quoting Biggie gets a positive comment from me :-) .

Xin, Xin, Xin, can’t you see, sometimes your blog posts just hypnotize me.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 3:54 am

It’s a sad but true fact. When we have more money but less time for everything else.. especially for enjoying life.

Now I’m skint but I’m with my fiance, we have a much better quality of life. Much more relaxed.

We can’t always have all in our life, can we?

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 7:47 am

I agree – ther really is more to quality of life than just possesions and cash.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 8:37 am

Once the basics are covered, I think happiness is more what you make of it.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 8:43 am

If you find out where this place is, don’t tell anyone for fear of making it into what you are looking to escape from.
However, I agree with you completely.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 8:44 am

I love to read your posts. Being a Chinese myself, coming from Taiwan, I love to know other Chinese bloggers.
My family in Taiwan sometimes asked about my husband’s income, I usually tried not to answer it directly, because they will consider us so so rich, when in fact we are so far from rich.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 9:31 am

Sometimes I feel the same way. My dad used to work at the university. The pay was crap, and there were things we can’t have as kids. But I remember the family spend a lot of time together.

Now, he works for industry and it’s a lot more stressful.

Same with my sister. I remember seeing more of her before she got her promotions. Now we speak through one line e-mails.

I guess with more money we have to give up more time.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 12:00 pm

Did you watch the Gummi Bears? For some reason, very few people remember that show. Gargoyles was another good show, but it was in the ’90s.

Anyway, there was an article in the NY Times recently about kids’ not eating free lunch because it’s not cool to be poor.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 12:05 pm

nope..I never watched the gummi bears, but I did watch the Gargoyles when I was in Hawaii. It was too adult of a show for kids. yeah I heard about the free lunch thing. Some schools are coming up with cards where you can swipe so everybody gets the same cards but the free lunch people gets it loaded for free. I had tickets where they cut off a part of the ticket every day.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 1:46 pm

Thought provoking post indeed. Funny how we always equate a lack of money with unhappiness, and wealth or a comfortable standard of living with happiness. It really is a myth.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 3:03 pm

Fortunately, I live in a very small town, under 1800 people. Everyone knows everyone, you can leave your doors unlocked. Very laid back.

The schools are great. There’s very little crime. It reminds me of Mayberry. :)

The down side is there are no jobs here (82% of the people in town commute 45+ minutes away to work). There’s no shopping. Most of the restaurants have gone under in the last 2 years.

All we have left are 2 gas stations, a mom and pop grocery store (which is failing), and a McDonalds.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 3:04 pm

Interesting that you equate Communist China with happier times. Could that be because you were a young child and had a very narrow view of your world? Because I have a feeling if you lived there now and tried to blog about Christianity or disagreeing with the government you’d be sent to Jail. I’ve been to China and it’s a beautiful and historic country but the government is royally scary.

It also sounds like you like the idea of government providing for people. Which seems at odds with (what I perceive) your work ethic (which seems fairly strong).

I do agree that the more money you get the more “stuff” you’re tempted to buy. I try to tell hubby that just because we HAVE money doesn’t mean we need to SPEND it. But he seems to think that because we have it we need to use it and collect ‘stuff’. *sigh* It’s frustrating.

But then again we all make our own life decisions. I’ve chosen to NOT be super aggressive in my career and I’m very happy with my salary and life. I don’t want the more “successful” career if it means working until 1 a.m. and weekends. Blech!

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.18.08 at 3:30 pm

Well, I’m not equating Communist China with happier times, but for my family and the way we lived it was a simpler and less complicated life. I did say that perhaps it seemed idyllic because I was a child, but it was home, and I had everything I needed. If I had stayed in China my entire life then my viewpoint would be different because China has gone through a lot of changes in the last twenty years and the government doesn’t provide as much for the people anymore. It’s turning into a capitalistic society where you have to compete to survive. As to Governments providing for people, I think the proportion of taxes I pay to the United States government give me very little in return. In China (at least 20 years ago) they paid you very little if you worked in a government owned agency, but at least the basic needs (including housing) were taken care of. I think if governments take so much from its people, then they have the responsibility to provide certain services. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.19.08 at 9:59 pm

Xin, when you were a child in China, we let you eat the whole chicken if we had money to buy one. I and your dad only licked the bones. Your dad lost a tooth because he tried to break a chicken head to get the brain for you.
When I left China, all my saving for working more than 15 years in China was not enough to buy an airplane ticket. There were too many things we did not want to let you know. You were only a child. A child does not need to worry about anything it needs. The parents worry for it.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.20.08 at 10:13 am

If you read zenhabits, Leo seems like he’s having a great time on Guam.
But I agree – to an extent. My mom works at a company job now that pays her $13/hr but she has to work 3 days overtime each week so when I come home from college, I rarely get to see her cuz she comes home at 1am every day. I don’t need her to give me spending money cuz I never buy anything. I just want to see her for more than an hour each day.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.20.08 at 1:52 pm

Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at . The Carnival will be live tomorrow, Monday, April 21, 2008, so stop by and check out all of the other wonderful submissions!

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best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 04.22.08 at 9:01 am

This is a fascinating story. Your mom’s recollection and the fact that she and your dad struggled to shield you from the worst that poverty can bring takes an already interesting essay and adds three shimmering dimensions to it.

I found the link on the Carnival of Money Stories & am adding a link on this week’s “Moments of Fame” at Funny. Awesome.

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best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 06.09.08 at 7:16 am

Hello, first-time poster here.

I wanted to mention that Timothy Ferriss, in his book “4-Hour Work Week” pointed out the concept of New Rich. His point was that even if you had a lot of money, if your life is tied down and if you don’t have opportunities to enjoy the fruits of the resources you have, then you are actually not richer than people who make less money but have time to use it. Richness is not the total sum of income but more about how productive you are per hour, and how freely you can use it.

I’d like to say that on the whole there were many bits of the book I didn’t relate to or agree with, but he did have some points that I thought was insightful. This was one of them.

Enjoy your writing — keep it up!

ari

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 06.12.08 at 8:52 pm

I can see your point about being unhappier when life was more hectic in the Bay area than in Hawaii or China, but I’m not sure that money was directly related to your unhappiness. It seems that it was more related to a hectic life, and I think you would have had a more hectic life in the Bay area than you would have in Hawaii or China regardless of your financial circumstances. I think your post was interesting, but I’m just not convinced that happiness has an inverse relationship to money; in fact, I would say the opposite is true. I have found that I am able to do more enjoyable things when I have money and don’t have to worry about paying the bills. In that way, I think the more money one has, the happier he is. I certainly don’t think money can buy happiness, but a good argument could be made that it is a prerequisite to happiness to have enough money.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 08.19.08 at 6:26 am

interesting post. quoted you in my quotes collection at tumbler with attribution and backlinks.

yes, once the basic utilities are paid monthly, any increase in money does not anymore translate to quality of life. i live in the philippines. took the usmle and had a chance to go to the states in the early 90′s but some of those who went came back. i didnt go. but i still pursued a competitive life in manila from 1995 to 2005. trained well and landed in good jobs which made me so busy. late 2005, i “deloaded”. i live simply now and have a not-so-demanding job. as long as i pay the bills, i try to limit the excess and by doing so i have more time…and life.

thanks for your post.

best online pharmacy for generic viagraon 11.12.08 at 4:15 pm

[...] This carnival contains a link to an absolutely awesome story and rumination by Baglady, who compares income and the quality of life as she remembers it in her childhood in China, in Hawaii, and in San Francisco; the addition of a [...]

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