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In many ways, I am a minority in the United States. I am a female engineer, an Asian immigrant, a saver, and an only child. Being in the minority isn’t always easy, so I thought that I should write a series on how to succeed while you are different from the rest. First and foremost, you need to learn how to deal with prejudices. Here are some things I have learned over the years about how to deal with prejudice. I am sure it’s not a comprehensive list, but it’s a starting point.

viagra alternative – Sometimes you should just walk away from ridiculous bashing of your race, gender, or religion. Getting into a fight with unreasonable people is a waste of time.

viagra alternative – Sometimes people don’t know that you are offended by some comments or actions because America is such a multicultural place and there can be misunderstandings. I have encountered that at times and if I know that they are sensible people I try to explain my point of view. Most of the time this works well in the workplace where people are more civil.

viagra alternative – Before you take the drastic action of suing someone you need to have evidence. For example, if you think that you’re being discriminated against in terms of pay you need to collect quite a bit of salary information in your company and that may be hard to get to. In other cases where violence has occurred you should report it as soon as possible so that the authorities can collect evidence.

viagra alternative- A lot of prejudice stems from stereotypes, and not all stereotypes are bad. For example, Asians are usually thought of as hard working and frugal. I don’t mind that at all, but there are stereotypes such as “only children can’t take care of themselves” and “women engineers are worse than male engineers” that I deal with. The only thing I could do is to break those stereotypes through action and show others that they are wrong.

viagra alternative- Unfortunately, all of us are imperfect humans who are capable of hate and prejudice but adding to the cesspool of hatred isn’t going to solve anything. It is natural to be angry when you are attacked, but if you escalate attacks based on prejudice then there will be no end to the whole thing.

viagra alternative – Since America has so many laws against discrimination, there have been instances when people abused the laws and sued for “damages”. I think there is no point to raise a fuss if there is no real issue because that just brings more hatred against an entire group. Sometimes it is hard for people to tell what prejudice is, and simply talking to the “offender” could resolve a lot of things.

viagra alternative- Finally, prejudice may throw obstacles in your path, but you shouldn’t let it deter you from your goal. For example, I am acutely aware of the fact that female workers still get paid less in this country, but I remedy that situation by moving to jobs with higher pay. Conquering obstacles often makes a person more competitive and likely to succeed.

For the most part, the prejudices I have dealt with over the years are quite small compared to what minorities dealt with in America in the last century. I think for the most part, prejudice could be dealt with in a civil manner in the current United States. The key is to recognize when you are treated unfairly and act accordingly.

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viagra alternativeon 04.09.08 at 5:14 pm

Hi Baglady

I am really surprised that you would consider yourself a minority when you live / work in San Mateo (part of the diverse multi-national & multi-cultural San Francisco Bay Area).

I too have worked and ‘grew up’ in San Francisco Peninsula. I am chinese, was born in Hong Kong, came to SF when I was 8 yr old, went to all my schooling in San Francisco including SF State for college, now working on the Peninsula for over 10 years now.

When I was growing up, I grew up with the stigma of believing that I was a “minority”. Because of that, I naturally gravitated toward an asian crowd. But since college, I have mexican friends, italian, whites, blacks, etc. I really don’t see myself as a minority.

Perhaps I’m blinded by the fact that I value people by what’s in their hearts and what they can contribute in the community (such as hard-working at work or good father/mother/husband/mother/friends, paying taxes, helping out the less-fortunate, helping out community, law abiding, being responsible people) rather than where they came from or what color they are.

I mean the people on the Peninsula have for many years been very diverse and people just get along! I believe that there are enough different people here that you have an opportunity for everyone to learn from one another (like it or not for some).

I am some what sadden that you feel you have to write this particular blog as the Peninsula is not that sort of place where people have to worry about if they are minority or majority or whatever. And if anyone feels this way, they really should broaden their horizons!!

I wonder sometimes if discrimination does exist on the Peninsula or is it just an excuse for someone not reaching certain goals or face certain set backs? ~ something I hear quite often in the media, even in today’s times…

viagra alternativeon 04.09.08 at 5:21 pm

For the most part, I have lived in places with a lot of Asians (Hawaii and the Bay Area). However, I am a racial minority in the United States. Also, it’s not just race. As I said, being a female engineer makes me a minority. In the companies I have worked for maybe 20% of the engineers are female and believe me when I say I have seen and felt sexism. I know that some women are also discriminated against in the workplace for having children, so I think discrimination definitely exists on the Peninsula, and everywhere else, too. We are definitely fortunate to live in a more progressive part of the world, but it is far from perfect.

viagra alternativeon 04.10.08 at 9:55 am

I think America is one of the most open minded and diverse nations in the world. Imagine being a woman in Iran or Saudi Arabia. You wouldn’t even be allowed to drive a car. Or being a Christian in some nations – it can earn you death.

I get really tired of hearing about “minority” rights. *sigh* How about just rights. I don’t care what color a person is or if they are a female or male. If they do a good job then I have no issues. If they suck then it’s a different issue. But so many companies are afraid of being sued that sometimes people who just suck can’t be let go if they are a minority. All the “affirmative action” programs I believe are going to eventually backfire. Businesses won’t want to hire anyone and just won’t for fear of lawsuits. It just sucks.

Being a female in a male dominated business can actually be a huge benefit. In my industry (finance) females are actively SOUGHT out because there are so few and companies want to “prove” how diverse they are. It’s annoying actually. And I AM a woman.

I think your list should be titled “How to Succeed When You Are a Human” because every single person has challenges, can be offended, can be discriminated against for all kinds of reasons.

No society will ever be perfect. Maybe I don’t like red heads. Maybe a business I interview with doesn’t like fat white women. I guess I’d be out of luck. I’m not going to whine or sue over it. I will move on and keep trying somewhere else until I AM successful. That’s the beauty of this country. You aren’t forced or doomed to stay in one place. You can do and become anything you want.

Just the fact that you ARE a woman engineer in this world is an incredible accomplishment.

viagra alternativeon 04.10.08 at 11:36 am

Hey there. All of what you said is true, but a lot of the equal rights minorities enjoy today in America were fought for by minorities so I can’t just say “don’t whine”. I mean, women ,blacks, and the Chinese couldn’t vote for a long long time in this country. That’s why in my article I said to whine if you have real evidence you were wronged and don’t abuse the legal system.

Also, not everyone is as open minded as you to respect a person as they are so being a minority is still an issue in many parts of America. I can’t say that everyone faces the same challenges, but in many cases being in a certain minority does make things harder.

Honestly I wrote this because I felt a lot of hate towards Chinese people in the current media. On the San Francisco Chronicle there are thousands of comments saying “go back to China” and more racist things. So I really felt that I had to address that you can succeed as a minority.

viagra alternativeon 04.10.08 at 12:59 pm

I have to say that trying to link discrimination in a work environment is a bit of a stretch in respect to working on the Peninsula compared to areas outside of the Bay Area (where there’s less diverse people live and work).

Just because you are consider yourself a minority and working in an industry (or perhaps just your company) where there’s only 20% women doesn’t automatically merit to call that a discriminatory situation. (Not to disrespect any incidents you may have experienced at work.)

I’m an chinese male in my 30′s working in an industry dominated by women – the real estate. I’m a sales person working in the support industry of real estate (so I’m not an agent). Majority of real estate agents are women (I’d say approx 65%). At my company and in our competitors, there are more women in the same position as I. Should I say that it is an unfair working environment? What if my female coworker got a promotion before I did? How do you draw the line to say that she’s more qualified and/or I’m being discriminated against?

How about this question…

You said that this a more progressive part of the world. So when do we stop thinking that there’s a possibility of discrimination and actually look at how qualified we are or what abilities we possess?

Again, aside from any personal experience you may have had, I don’t believe discrimination exists on the peninsula.

viagra alternativeon 04.10.08 at 2:36 pm

I didn’t say that a workplace is automatically a discriminatory environment due to you being a minority, but I’m trying to say that you should recognize it when it happens. There was one company I have worked for in the past that clearly paid women 10,000 to 15,000 less for the same job and experience level. I would say that’s discrimination, and it was in San Mateo in 2005. It could be because women are always paid less in that company, or they just didn’t ask for more pay, but I am saying that you should deal with prejudice in a productive way when you do see it. I dealt with it by bringing up the issue and taking another job that paid more.

viagra alternativeon 04.11.08 at 10:52 am

Thank you for the debate/commentaries. This will be my last for this post.

Its a bit difficult to determine if you are discriminated based on pay alone. First, there is suppose to be confidentiality in regards to one’s pay. Employers usually have a pay scale for any position based on experience and qualification. If I was the hiring person, I would do whatever I can to pay someone as little as possible for that position unless he/she can give me reason otherwise (being a minority does not necessarily generate more revenue for a company thus is not a reason for higher pay).

To simply say that being paid less for the same job and experience level is discrimination is a bit reaching unless your company is unionized, in which case your pay is then ‘posted’ and everyone knows exactly what everyone gets.

What I have seen is that there is a certain ‘art’ in salary negotiation during your job interview and, of course, the company status and economy have much to affect with salary leveraging or your negotiating ability.

Again because it is the Peninsula, its very difficult to say that a certain situation happened because it is discrimination.

Worse comes to worst, you can get lawyers involved, you can strike if you have enough people behind you, or you can fire your boss by going for a better offer.

And going back to your example, I think part of that equation is also that nobody has the exact experience and education. One person might be paid higher for the same job and similar experience level but perhaps there’s a certain job experience, side project/work, or education that merits someone being paid more. Also if the person comes highly recommended or have the right references or perhaps even the right connections would give this person an edge.

One more variable to consider is that many companies (and I definitely see it in my company quite often) will hire workers from their competition. Money will often be the mechanism to lure workers from their competitors to come work for them. In this case, those people will be paid much higher or given better compensations or perks to come work for them.

Is this fair? No! Is this discrimination? Really difficult to say for certain.

My point is that nowadays, living and working in San Francisco Bay Area, especially on the Peninsula, because of the diversity in the area, it is difficult to say that discrimination exists.

I, personally, have not experienced discrimination myself. And if there’s a set back, I don’t default to blaming discrimination as the cause of the situation. I continue doing my own thing, either thru working harder or smarter, educating myself more, networking, making friends as ways to get ahead in this very competitive market.

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