Recently I read an article about financial planners talking with their clients about their childhood. The point is that events that happened in childhood often shape how we manage our money. So I thought about it, and I took a trip down memory lane. Here are a couple of my most distinct childhood memories about money, and how they relate to how I manage money now.
The Crayon Incident
When I was 4 or 5 my mom sent me to the corner store to buy a box of crayons. I think it cost about 8 fen (1 fen is 1/100th of a yuan, the official currency of China). So I clutched the coins in my hand and walked to the store. When I got to the store I laid down my money and asked for the box of crayons, and the storekeeper told me that I didn’t have enough money! It seems that I lost a couple coins on the way. So I walked home with the coins I had and told my mom. My mom gave me a couple more coins and told me to try again. So once again I skipped and hopped to the store. I put down my coins again, and unfortunately I didn’t have enough money again. So I sulked a little and went home. My mom laughed at me a bit, and decided to come along. She asked me where I walked and I showed her, and she found the three or four coins I dropped. Finally I got my box of crayons with my mom’s help.
I still sort of remember the fence I walked by and the grass I hopped on, and my mom repeats this story ad nauseum to whoever would listen because she thinks it’s hilariously cute. I think this is an incident that made me wary of carrying cash in my hands. It has been twenty years since it has happened, but I still don’t like carrying a lot of cash because I fear I would lose it. Another habit instilled by this event is that I look at the ground for lost money when I walk around.
The Photo Incident
When I was about 12 my family lived in Hawaii, and we were quite low income because my parents were both immigrant graduate students. My dad tells the story of being a minimum wage souvenir salesman in his memoir here. Anyway, we needed some photos developed and my dad went to the supermarket and dropped off the film. They had an advertisement that said if you choose express developing and they don’t deliver the film by 9am then they will give you the photos for free. My dad fell for the advertisement and ordered express development. Then the next day he sent me to pick up the photos. Usually it cost $4 to $5 to develop a roll, but because of my dad’s folly the final bill came out to be $11.29 or something. I handed over the money on the verge of tears because it just felt like I lost something. Then I went home with the photos and cried. Then my mom asked me why I was crying and I said that dad made us pay extra money for photos. She kind of laughed at me again, but chided my dad a little bit for falling for the supermarket’s ploy and making me cry.
Of course, these days my mom makes fun of me for this incident, too. I cried because I felt tricked, but also because I knew that money was hard to come by in my family at that time. This was a time when we bought the overripened produce and clipped every coupon to survive, and $11 was a lot of money. Because of this incident I am very against paying for extras tacked on by stores and anything that is “express” or “premium”. For example, I don’t buy extra warranties offered by stores, and I always just get the cheapest or free shipping.
Anyway, this post was very therapeutic for me and I hope you were amused by it. It is kind of funny to look back, but these memories do explain why I have such a cautious and frugal attitude towards money. What are some of your childhood memories about money? Do they explain how you treat money now?
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10 comments ↓
Great post. My parents were good savers but did not communicate with the kids about money. I have a general memory of feeling like money was tight all the time — and looking back now, I think that there were times when it really was very tight and times when it felt like we were doing more poorly than maybe we were. When I went off to college and thought that I might be headed toward bigger and better things, I had the misplaced and unfortunate feeling that I had not had as much in the way of material possessions as a kid as I wanted. Then the undesirable part, in my view, of the lack of communication from my parents is that I had not thought about good money habits or the whys of how my parents treated money. And I promptly ran up credit card debt!
This post brought back so many memories. When I was growing up, we were really poor. My parents did the best they could, but…there was never enough money.
As I grew up, I now save my money. I slept on a mattress on the floor for seven years because I refused to spend my money and ever be poor again.
So, yes childhood memories do make me “not” spend because of what I went through.
Fascinating and interesting.
My father was apparently super cheap and made my mom and him live off of one salary even though they brought in two. The extra salary went into savings.
Of course I don’t remember that because he died when I was 8 and I was raised by a mom who pretty much bought whatever she wanted and whatever we wanted. It was shopping therapy. I never wanted for anything and lived pretty well. We weren’t “rich” for sure but we certainly weren’t poor either.
Today I am sometimes super frugal and cheap and other times carefree even when I shouldn’t be. It’s a really weird combination.
My parents were … a bit divided on the money aspect. My dad saved to the point of, um, not very healthy food, not a great place to live, scrimp on clothing, never buy anything for pleasure, etc.
My mom spent to the point of excess whenever she could.
They hated each other. (Long story.)
I can see both of them in my spending habits—I squirrel and save my money away (my dad’s side), but on the other hand, I do allocate a chunk of change every month to spend on what I like (my mom’s side).
Now, I have a house and I have a lotta books in it. So I found a balance between the two.
good post!
Oh my…I think you’ve raised a completely valid concept. You’d better believe that money matters are affected by childhood. For me, I was not handed everything, we at times lived on scareness. And yet, I know this, when times get tough financially at my home, as an adult…I take a little bit of pride in knowing that I understand the concept of making a dollar stretch. I can make a meal out of oddities and I can manage to keep $5 in my pocket, for weeks at a time, because I GET IT…I understand what it takes.
For me, poverty is a test of ones Faith in God and ingenuity as a person.
I absolutely loved this post!
Juicy Jenn
Great point made here. I think that we’re all impacted by the way that our parents raised us to think about money - and probably more so in the little things that happened than in the things they actively tried to teach us about finance. Recognizing those influences can be a great step towards changing our own relationship with money if that’s what we’re aiming to do. Thanks!
As a teenager I saw some people being conned out of significant amounts of money. The cash was in a great pile and I should have given it back to the people but I was too slow and conman grabbed it and did a runner. I am still haunted by this memory 20 year on and wish I had grabbed the money first and given it back to the people it belonged to. This makes me very alert to being conned and I do not give my money away unless I know I am getting something in return.
[…] Baglady wrote an interesting post Monday about how childhood memories of money affect your money habits. That post has inspired other personal finance bloggers, including Meg, English Major, and now, me, […]
[…] presents Childhood Money Memories, Part I posted at Finance Gets Personal. Finance Girl followed my post and wrote about her childhood money memories. There are some great stories […]
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