Fifteen Years in America - Chapter 1: The Struggle Before the Reunion by Jian (Part 1)

This is a continuation of my family’s immigration story written by my dad. If you missed the introduction it’s available here. If you can read Chinese the chapters are available at my family’s blog here. Chapter one is about how my mother got my dad and myself to America. It is sort of long so I am splitting it into several parts. Enjoy and feel free to subscribe to this blog’s full feed if you don’t want to miss anything!

Fifteen Years in America - Chapter 1: The Struggle Before the Reunion

Fifteen years ago, I took the plane tickets my wife Helen sent me and took my daughter to Hongqiao International Airport in Shanghai. My daughter Xin just turned nine. Perhaps it was because she was going to see her mother for the first time in over a year, she was extremely excited and did not sleep very well the night before. Then she fell asleep in the car on the way to Shanghai. My brother in law Ji Chang and a colleague Wen Hua sent us to the airport. At the airport, Xin woke up and was full of energy once again. She started to play the Gameboy I just bought for her.

As I looked at the Japan Airlines Boeing 737 outside of the terminal’s window, I was overwhelmed by hundreds of emotions. Yes, this is the land that nurtured me for over thirty years, this is where my friends and family live, and this is the place where I worked passionately in my career in education. All of these things were hard for me to let go.

Before I left, my coworkers in my department gave me a farewell party. That night, after everyone said goodbye, I loudly recited a poem by Su Dongpo titled August 15:

How often is the moon bright, I lift my wine to the azure sky and ask.
I wonder what year it is tonight in the celestial palaces?
I am willing to leave with the wind, but I am afraid of the chill
high above those beautiful jade buildings.
The moon dances and casts clear shadows, as if it is amongst mortals
It surrounds crimson towers, and creeps beneath the carved windows,
and shines upon those who cannot sleep.
It should not know hate, but why is it always round when we are parting?
Men have sadness, joy, parting, and reunion
Just as the moon may be dark, bright, round, and incomplete.
This has always been hard to understand fully since ancient times.
I can only hope that we can live long and admire the moon together
even if we are thousands of miles apart.

Su Dongpo is an extraordinary poet, and I have always loved his words. I especially like the passion he expressed in his other poem titled “Lian Ru Jiao - Che Bi Huai Gu”. However, at the time I was about to leave my parents, friends, and colleagues so I felt that Master Su’s poem “August 15th” truly conveyed my feelings. It is truly hard to leave my homeland, and it is hard to understand the sadness in parting, and the joy in reunion at the same time. Even though China’s Mid-Autumn festival uses the lunar calender’s August 15 and it is different from the Gregorian calendar, I know my wife Helen ordered plane tickets for August 15th because of the meaning of reunion attached to this date. Reunion is something every family wants, and Helen is the person who sacrificed enormously for our family’s reunion.

One year prior in 1991, Helen was accepted by the Theatre department at the University of Hawai’i at Manoa as a PhD student. When she walked out of Honolulu International Airport, her American penpal Betty asked a friend named Alice to give her a ride from the airport. When Alice asked Helen where she needed to go, Helen had no idea. Before she left China she left most of our savings for our child, and brought only $200 to America. With this pittance she could not even rent a room for two weeks in Hawaii.

Alice took Helen to the International Student Services building at University of Hawaii. In America, most state universities have international student services and their mission is to help international students. They usually have activities and clubs for international students and also help with registration and various Visa processing issues. They also deal with employment and the immigration of relatives. For example, if an international student wants to work off campus they would need the permission of the school. If an international student wants to return to their home country for vacation, they would also need the service to give approval on their I-20 form. At that time the director of the services at the university was an American born Chinese woman named Jennie. She was a very enthusiastic and hardworking director who was very well liked by the students. Perhaps it was because she is Chinese herself, she was especially fond of helping Chinese students. She was extremely surprised when she saw that Helen came into the office with two large suitcases. Even though the international students service helps these students, they are not responsible for finding people a place to live or deal with other personal issues. She asked Helen why did she come to the office and Helen said she has no idea where she is supposed to go, and is just trying to find a place to stay. Jennie asked Helen how much money she had and Helen answered $200. Jennie knew that there was no way Helen could rent anything, so she called a nearby church and asked for help. (To be continued)

Translator’s Note: Su Dongpo is a famous poet from the Song dynasty (around 1000 AD). There are many translations of his poems and this is a translation based on my understanding. The ancient Chinese texts usually didn’t have punctuation so you can intepret it in a lot of ways. August 15th in the Chinese lunar calendar is the Mid-Autumn festival, which is a day for reunion of families. Lunar calendars correspond precisely to the lunar cycle so the 15th of any month is a full moon. The closest thing to this festival in America would be Thanksgiving. During the Mid-Autumn festival families get together to eat mooncakes and watch the full moon. The same festival is celebrated in several other Asian countries.

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