It’s happening all over again. I am leaving a job where I have done a lot and earned very good reviews from my managers. The last time I left my job many people talked to me and tried to convince me to stay. The entire day felt like breaking up with one man after another. It is actually quite easy to map what they said to what boyfriends would say in a breakup. Here are some examples:
The Psycho Boyfriend — One guy called me on the cell and said, “You’re leaving over my DEAD body! I want you to stay!” I’m happy to report that he is still alive and he didn’t kill me after I left the company
The Boyfriend That Knows He Has Done Wrong — This is typical of what people say to convince someone to stay. Basically it goes like this, “Listen, I know that things have not been going well, but I can make sure things change. Please stay and see that things will change!” Unfortunately, things usually don’t change.
The Boyfriend That Sounds Heart Broken — People have said things like, “this is a huge blow to my heart” and “I’m very very upset right now.” These feelings are probably true, but it’s hard to respond to them sometimes when you’re in a conference room.
To all of these “boyfriends” I generally respond with the cliche “it’s not you, it’s me”. I tell them that they have been great to me (it is usually true), and I am just leaving for something new.
The working relationship is usually a long term relationship and the emotions felt when someone useful leaves can be pretty similar to the emotions in a break up. When you think about it, a lot of people probably spend more time with their coworkers than with their families. I do feel bad when grown men that I respect get on the verge of tears while trying to convince me to stay, but when I have made up my mind to leave I go for it. Also I understand that most of them do have selfish reasons for being upset. It takes time and money to train someone and it takes time to trust someone so it is always a bad thing when someone useful leaves. Currently I am going through another round of “breakups” at work. I am leaving a well-paying job at a stable and highly profitable company for a startup that is just starting to become profitable. I am taking a fairly big risk, but I feel like I need to join another startup before I have kids. It was a tough choice to make, but I am sure I will learn a lot of new things.
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4 comments ↓
*sniff sniff* I’m going to miss you. I’m very very upset right now. This is a huge blow to my heart.
… yeah right. Good luck =). Make sure you still come out to lunch with us. I might be really crying in a month depending on the state of the builds though =P.
!
Two emotions:
1. HAHA, nice post.
2. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That totally sucks that you are leaving.
Selfish is indeed the word – they are completely looking out for themselves. If they really cared about you they would be happy that you are moving on to better things.
Mike
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