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So I have been writing this blog for three months and I am surprised that I haven’t written about being an only child. I am an only child because I was born in China and my entire generation was subject to the . In China my entire class consisted of only children and the closest thing I had to a brother was my first cousin, who happens to be only 3 days older than me. Last year I read quite a few articles published by the official news agency of China about my generation of “little emperors” and “little princesses” and I found them quite interesting. Here is a short summary of the central government’s findings on this enormous social experiment.

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  1. A lot of only children are quite independent and very productive.
  2. Urban females are more educated than past generations since parents could only give attention and care to their only child. In past generations the boys usually received preferential treatment. The only-child policy actually did create more gender equality in urban areas.
  3. The only-child generation did not show distinct personality defects as feared by sociologists when the policy went into place. In fact, they are generally healthier than previous generation.
  4. Only children are more sociable than children with siblings because they have to get friends outside of their family.

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  1. The only-child generation tends to have less responsibility growing up and end up being lazier.
  2. Divorce seems to be rampant in this generation because of overprotective parents and unyielding egos.
  3. Only children have no idea how to take care of their own kid.
  4. As their parents and grandparents age these peers of mine will have to potentially take care of six people.

When I was a child I really thought that being an only child is the right and normal thing because it was the law and I was born into a world of only children. I remember that it took me a while to adjust to the fact that only children are fairly rare in America and most people has at least one sibling. Since in China the kids with brothers and sisters were from the countryside I thought that maybe most Americans are farmers. I had a few classmates that also came from China, but their parents chose to have more children in America. Most of these American siblings were ten or more years younger than my classmates. In fact, one of my friend’s mom produced his last little brother when he was a senior in high school. This is because in the Chinese culture children are considered blessings. In America the one child policy has many critics, and I agree that it does impede on the basic reproductive rights of human beings and millions of babies have died because of this law. However, population control is probably needed in the world and it’s a tough issue to resolve when most humans are biologically driven to have more children.

For the most part I did benefit from the law because I had the full attention of my parents and they provided me with all that I needed. Even though I live in America now I think I am not so different from my Chinese counterparts. However, my dad wrote in his blog (in Chinese) that I am much because I grew up in America. Looking back, I probably wouldn’t want a sibling to play and fight with and I quite enjoyed being an only child. There are definitely moments of loneliness, but I just filled my time by reading a lot of books and spending time with my parents. To this day I am still more comfortable talking with older people because I am used to having my parents as my friends. Maybe that’s why I identify with an old baglady and I am so keen on retirement planning. Now that I am married I am trying to adjust to not being an only child, but a wife. It is kind of hard since my hubby takes care of so many things around the house. He is the older brother in his family and he is definitely taking care of me in a lot of ways. I definitely need to take care of him more so that I maintain my marriage and not end up a divorce statistic.

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generic cialis compare priceson 10.25.07 at 5:14 pm

That’s a really fascinating perspective!

I’m an only child too, though I’m from America and therefore was always aware that most people had siblings. I have two children and I see them love each other and am glad that they have each other. I would like to have had a sibling too. But I don’t think it’s a great tragedy or anything to be an only child.

generic cialis compare priceson 10.26.07 at 3:20 pm

I agree — nice perspective.

It’s interesting that China’s one-child policy is also creating a generation of spendthrifts. Although you’re a product of that policy, your frugality is certainly a nice contrast.

generic cialis compare priceson 10.28.07 at 5:46 pm

I grew up in a big family–I was the youngest of 6 children–and my parents never seemed to have enough time for me. I decided that I would only have two children at the most. After I had my first, I just felt that I was done, so he will be an only child. I worry sometimes that he won’t have the benefits of having brothers and sisters to grow up with. It’s nice to know that you don’t feel like you were cheated out of anything by not having siblings. I hope my son feels the same way.

generic cialis compare priceson 10.28.07 at 10:42 pm

[...] baglady presents The ‘One-child Policy’ and Me posted at [...]

generic cialis compare priceson 10.30.07 at 8:49 pm

Its interesting to see the feedback they have gathered with the one child policy. I am an only child myself who grew up in a society where people have at least two siblings. I often get asked whether its hard or so, and i can relate with some of the observations listed in here :)

generic cialis compare priceson 02.15.08 at 11:41 am

I can really relate to what you said. I grew up as an only child (in California, mind you), because my mother came from a huge family–she was the middle child of 11. I too have always been more comfortable with older people than people my age. I’m still this way, although I’ve also noticed that in my life, I’ve tended to have friends and boyfriends that are older than me, probably to compensate for these feelings. Which is honestly not something I’ve ever thought about before your post.

Luckily, I kind of got the best of both worlds when I was younger, because my aunt and my cousin moved in. So for 3-4 years, I had a taste of what it was like to have a “sibling”, something that I have always been eternally grateful for.

generic cialis compare priceson 02.15.08 at 12:21 pm

Hi Lilac! When I was a kid I sort of had a sibling too. He is my cousin and we played together every weekend. He is 3 days older than me so we were sorta like twins. And then I left China and we both cried lots. I think if this were the 1920s I would be married to him.

generic cialis compare priceson 05.08.08 at 11:01 pm

Governments can provide incentives to encourage people to have only one child. But I think China went too far. And India is having problems too because they are killing a significant number of their females in the bud.

generic cialis compare priceson 07.08.08 at 11:25 pm

[...] I weren’t my parents’ first child then I would probably have never been born because of the one child policy.  So I am thankful to God for letting me be the first fertilized egg in my mommy’s tummy, [...]

generic cialis compare priceson 07.19.08 at 2:00 pm

[...] have only two cousins because of the one child policy. My older cousin is named Yang and he is three days older than me. Before I left China, we were [...]

generic cialis compare priceson 08.23.08 at 11:14 am

I’m an only child too. I’d like to go to China some day and meet my same-aged peers and talk to them about growing up the same way.

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