Recently I read an article titled The Rich and Unfaithful on Forbes.com and I wondered if wealth can be detrimental to a marriage. The article was based on a survey 433 independently wealthy men and women and the conclusion is that almost half say that they’re unhappy in their marriage and more than half have been unfaithful in the past three years. Those unhappy with their marriage also fear divorce would be very costly and hurt their business dealings so they stay together. The article was focused on the wealthy and it makes you wonder if money affects the quality of a marriage. This leads me to ask, can wealth be detrimental to a marriage?
I believe that wealth is generally a good thing in marriage because it gets rid of worries about affording basic needs. However, as my ex-roommate always said, “marriages are difficult at best”. So I think the problem with having a tremendous amount money in a marriage is that the focus shifts to the cash rather than the spouse. For example, what I found interesting in the Forbes article is that most of the wealth of these couples were accumulated during marriage, and yet 75% of those with assets over 10 million agreed that marriage hindered their financial success. I can see instances where a marriage can hinder one’s financial success. For example, a married person who has to take care of a spouse and children is less likely to take large financial risks or be very mobile to take on new jobs and opportunities. However, these wealthy folks ARE very successful and they did it while married. So the fact that they think their marriage hindered their financial success means that they don’t think they are as successful as they hope to be. This makes me think that they are more focused on their money than their marriage.
Another “problem” with accumulating a massive amount of wealth during a marriage is that people can change from working together to working against each other. What I mean is that when young couples get together and have nothing they try to work together to make a better life, and sometimes when that better life is achieved people get more possessive of the things they have. That is why in the Forbes article a large percentage of the wealthy have hidden and protected assets. I think this is another example of putting money over marriage.
I also find it funny and ironic that money keeps unhappy people together because it is too costly for them to get a divorce. I hope that I will never get to that stage in my marriage. Ultimately, money is inanimate and neutral and shouldn’t be detrimental to marriages
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4 comments ↓
Fascinating post. I never really thought about this, but I guess considering how often celebrities and the likes get divorced this makes sense.
We are still far from being wealthy and I hope it doesn’t ruin our marriage.
First of all, I’m not sure a survey of people who weren’t independently wealthy would have different findings. You don’t have to be rich to cheat or to resent your spouse for holding you back financially.
However I can understand how being wealthy–or being married to someone who’s wealthy–could exacerbate marital discord. People who are wealthy (or becoming wealthy) tend to work a lot, prioritizing their business over most anything else. It’s stereotypical but not inaccurate to imagine the abandoned non-working spouse, bored and neglected, turning to extra-marital affairs for attention, affection, etc.
Rich, bored, and/or resentful spouses also like to spend money. In addition, working spouses might feel the need to “buy” their bored/resentful spouses off with expensive gifts and lavish vacations in order to make up for their absence, neglect, or whatever. Which only leads to more resentment and marital discord–and to spouses feeling like marriage holds them back financially.
Besides, survey responses on whether marriage holds you back financially might be based on previous, expected, or third-party experiences with divorce–which we all know is bad for the finances of both spouses.
That’s interesting, but I don’t think it’s a cause. Though people who are very financially successful COULD be more likely to have the kinds of personality traits that make marriage difficult. There’s not a whole lot of room for an ego in a happy marriage.
[…] not to get into debt but thinks on whether debt is more than financial. Here she presents Is Wealth Detrimental to Marriages? posted at The Bag Lady. I would be interested to read comments from our Carnival on this topic […]
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