Now, my youngest sister lives at home and my mom changed her tactics. She requires my sister to set aside ‘rent’ money every month, but she’ll get it all back when she moves out. So, basically, it’s a savings plan to keep her from spending all her pay.

It’s interesting to me that people think of it as mooching. It’s a mentality that will come back to bite most parents: when the choice is between putting mom and dad in a ‘senior care home’ or re-arranging your own life to take care of them at home, most people are going to weigh how much their parents were willing to accomodate them when they make their decision.

For a very long time in China several generations lived together. Sons are expected to return home with their wives and take care of their parents, and the parents took care of the grand children. It still works this way in many Chinese households and it’s almost like a social contract. That doesn’t seem to be the tradition in America so it’s curious that adult children sometimes feel entitled to the free lodging and services their parents provide. It may be some sort of cultural misunderstanding because some of these parents that allow limitless leeching are definitely first generation immigrants and expect their children to be home with them. However, their children are totally Americanized and do not intend to take care of their parents. I certainly do not expect my children to take care of me, and so if they’re fully capable of living on their own I would like them to do it.