Before I start this post I’d like to tell all of you that I secured my exboyfriend’s permission to write this article about a month ago. He is an intelligent and capable guy, but he might be a little too penny-pinching for his own good. The first time I wrote a story about his tight-fisted behavior I didn’t tell him about it and entered it into Suave’s America’s Smartest Shopper Essay Contest under his name. It was a silly joke, but ironically the entry was selected as a finalist and he won $200 in cash and was invited to audition for a TV show on the Style Network about the longest yard sale. I had to let him cash the check, but in return he bought me a full tank of gas and dinner for my parents. All of that didn’t add up to $200, though, but I guess it is the thought that counts. I’ve forgotten what exactly I wrote in that story, but here are some possibilities.
1. He Lives at Home with His Parents And Doesn’t Pay Room or Board – This behavior is understandable if he were 16, but he is now 26 years old with a well paying full time job as a mid-level software engineer at a fairly large defense firm. He says that he serves as his parents’ marriage counselor, system administrator, and financial adviser so that he doesn’t have to pay his parents anything. Therefore, he has zero living expenses.
2. His Bus Pass is Free — This is a benefit from his employer. He has something called the “Ecopass” and he can take the bus and train for free in Santa Clara county. It would be a lot more convenient for him to drive to work, but he saves a lot of gas money by using his free bus pass. On the weekends he can just borrow his parents’ car and this way he has no automobile expenses.
3. We Only Went on Free or Almost Free Dates — Our best dates were the company parties, because all the food and refreshments were free. There were also a lot of free movie tickets that we won from sweepstakes. There was also a very cheap Cinelux theatre in Milpitas that sold $1.50 tickets on Tuesdays, and we went to that fairly often. The theatre has been closed for a couple years now, but it was possibly the cheapest theatre in the Bay Area while it stood. I didn’t really mind having cheap and free dates because I am pretty frugal myself, but I imagine a lot of other girls would have objected to all the dates being free or under five dollars.
4. He Ate 25 Cent Spaghetti Everyday – For as long as I knew him his dinner diet consisted almost entirely of 25 cent spaghetti and 79 cent spaghetti sauce. He was quite proud of it too, and said that he would only buy spaghetti when it’s 25 cents, and he would stock up whenever he sees it. Sometimes he also brought some porkchops that his dad made for him and added it to the spaghetti. Once I went to Longs Drugs with him to procure some of that cheap spaghetti and they ran out, and he said that his mom would usually ask for a raincheck in that situation and buy the spaghetti later. Lately I asked him if he were still eating the 25 cent spaghetti, and he said, “no, 25 cent spaghetti is hard to come by now, the best I can get is 50 cents”.
5. He Doesn’t Flush the Toilet to Save Water — He would usually do #1 in his toilet 4 to 5 times before flushing and by then his toilet usually looks like a yellow bubbling cauldron. When I asked him why he did that he said it’s to save water. That is quite a weird dichotomy in him because he is very clean about his other living spaces and picks up every piece of hair and trash. He also cleans himself up pretty well, but he just doesn’t like to flush because according to him it wastes water.
6. His Cheapness (or Maybe Greediness) Finally Foiled Him — Sometimes banks or credit card companies send you small checks of $15 or $20 and if you cash them you are enrolled in some credit monitoring system that charges a fee. Well, he cashed one of those and forgot to cancel the service, so he ended up with negative five dollars. He was pretty sad about that, but couldn’t do anything, but now he no longer falls prey to small free checks.
You’d never know that he was that parsimonious just by looking at him. He actually looks like a fine well groomed young man and he is currently attending Stanford for his masters and works at the same time because his company is picking up his education tab. Looking back, I am pretty glad that I broke up with him because if I married him I would have had no wedding and right now I would probably be living with his parents and eating 50 cent spaghetti. Saving money is generally a good thing, but too much of a good thing can be hazardous, too . So now whenever people say that I am stingy I say to them, “well, let me tell you the story of my ex-boyfriend, his cheapness is award winning …”
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48 comments ↓
Are there any theaters these days that still have cheap tickets? The only one I can think of AMC AM Cinema, which is something like $6.50 if you watch a movie before noon on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
It seems like if you eat 25 cent spaghetti everyday, you’ll get sick. Granted they are healthier than instant noodles, it seems like you still need other nutrients. Maybe he took vitamin pills, but those are a bit pricy.
When I grew up during the CA drought, my parents told me not to flush either. If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown flush it down. Even shortly after the drought I didn’t flush out of habit. If you live in an apartment complex that pays for water, flushing doesn’t cost you anything then.
You made me laugh so hard.
Very funny post!
Mike
@Kaisen: Thank you for that extremely informative comment. My ex ate other things too, but the staple of his diet was the 25 cent spaghetti. I think Cinelux ran a few more discount theatres in San Jose too, but none of them were $1.50. I think there was one that was $4.50 or something.
@laoma: calm down.
Funny post!
yup, my ex read it and said “it’s a little exaggerated, but not completely untrue”. He thought it was funny too.
It’s so hilarious that you submitted it into a contest without his acknowledgement. Nonetheless, there are just some things that you can’t change in us guys! Lol
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Now if only he did all this stuff to protect the environment and donated like 80% or so of his income to charity, I’d marry him.
LOL I think he’s saving for a downpayment, but he’s buying the house just for himself.
The guy missed the point completely. Your money should work for you, not the other way around. It’s like his whole life revolved around making sure his money lived a full and happy life. I’m frugal, but my frugality has a purpose. I want money to cherry out my MGB and take trips.
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Haha, your ex-b/f showed me this blog about him. Man I thought it was cheap before, but now I really know. I think he’s saving to buy a house, which is why he lives at home, it’s important to him, otherwise I think he would live somewhere else. Good post, things I never knew this about him.
Yeah, he’s quite proud of himself so he’s showing this post around!
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I wish this guy was a woman so I could marry her :-).
Is water that expensive in the Bay area that not flushing saves much money? A lot of people don’t flush at cottages (”if its yellow, let it mellow. If its brown, then flush it down”), but that’s more not to stress the septic system then to save money.
Just think, Mr. Cheap, if you marry him, you’ll never have the expenses of either children or birth control devices. I say, “Go for it!”
Very funny post! I find it odd for someone to be so cheap, but then again I see him at 40, retired, sipping 50 cent margaritas on a Mexican beach while we’re all at work trying to pay our car and house notes.
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Gee, this seems like perfectly normal behavior to me! If I were younger, he would be just my kinda guy!!
I’m a female physician and make in the mid-6 figures. I cut and highlight my own hair to save money. All my food is free at the hospital (I bring home leftovers for weekends). I rent a tiny apt that is kept exceptionally neat and clean and is furnished very sparsely. (Hmmm . . . I wonder if my parents would let me move home??) I drive an old Honda and live close to the hospital to save on gas. Most of my clothes come from thrift shops or were used on ebay.
My entertainment is completely free since most of my free time outside work is spent reading and researching investment opportunities. I deal in cash only and have invested so well that I could retire now, even though I’ve only been practicing 5 years and love what I do too much to quit yet.
We do differ on the flushing thing. My one splurge in life is water to flush the toilet!!
Diana: Any interest in marrying a cheap canuck?
I have no problem with older women (at least older women who earn 6 figure salaries 
)
There is a saying that what goes around comes around, so if you spend money, it will come back another way. It has been true for so far as I know. Don’t be too fugal, you are here for a very short time.
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Thanks, Mr. Cheap, but I doubt I’ll ever marry again!
Just so nobody worries too much about me, I live a very fulfilling and satisfying life. What my frugality buys me more than anything is complete and total freedom to do whatever I want to do.
Just this last weekend, my little brother called and needed to borrow $10,000 - no problem! the check was in the mail yesterday. I helped my grown son with some car repairs last month - $1,200. A dear friend in need got $12,000 cash from me last Christmas - I wrapped it up in a little bank check box with a ribbon! This friend has 2 little kids and got caught in a financial nightmare last fall.
Thanks to my lifestyle, I’m able to be very generous with my family and friends.
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This guy sounds pretty damn responsible to me. He is living (far!) below his means, and probably accumulating ridiculous amounts of money. He could probably be retired by the time he is 40 with many millions in the bank and a beautiful nice house somewhere.
You didn’t imply all the money he was saving was wasted on comic books or anything - so where did it go?
I think this guy is a hero for not wasting his future or compromising his goals on random girlfriends.
oh he’s mostly just saving it. yeah, he’s very responsible about his money, and I didn’t ask for any money from him. For the most part I was paid more than him. this post was just sort of a silly summary of all the extreme-ish savings tactics he had.
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To tell you the truth, I quite admire his frugality. I don’t mind cheap dates, but I do mind that he is not eating healthily and may incur the pain of sickness later. If he expect me to eat unhealthily too, to save money, I’d be hurt that he has so little concern for my wellbeing.
“He could probably be retired by the time he is 40 with many millions in the bank and a beautiful nice house somewhere.”
Ah, so THAT’S what I should be striving for in life… many millions and a beautiful nice house. If I had to live with my parents and eat 50 cent spaghetti every night to do that, I’d gladly live on my own and cook my own dinners and only end up with only a few million and a nice house (not necessarily beautiful).
“I think this guy is a hero for not wasting his future or compromising his goals on random girlfriends.”
What do you consider “wasting [your] future”? Whoever dies with the most money wins? I’d say he’s wasting his present, his youth, AND his health with all that canned/jarred spaghetti sauce every night.
I’ve never had a random girlfriend, so I can’t comment on that. But if we go out, my girlfriend and I split costs down the middle. It’s the experience and thought that counts, not the money. But sometimes spending a little more than $2.50 can open up some options.
I would like to say that I wasn’t a “random girlfriend”. I was with this guy for three years, and I didn’t say I broke up with him because he is cheap. If you ask him he’d tell you I am cheap too. I broke up with him more because he didn’t really want to commit to marriage and move out of his parents’ house. I think moving out of your parents’ house is sort of important in starting a married life together.
To Fuzz.
No, I think we should all strive for what is important to us in life. I think everyone agrees someone who lives frugally like this their WHOLE LIFE, is ridiculous. However, I strongly believe in the idea of sacrificing today to win tomorrow, and I suspect that is this guy’s mindset. If HIS GOAL is to retire by 40, more power to him. But I realize I’m making assumptions without knowing the guy or his motivations for being cheap.
I consider “wasting your future” not as he who dies with the most money wins, but that focused intensity achieves goals - and the less you focus the less you reach goals. So, if his goal WAS to retire by 40, then he is undermining his own plan by going on extravagant dates, or paying for expensive rent or cars when he doesn’t have to. Kind of like if you goal is to look like a fitness model, then you probably shouldn’t eat Oreos even if you like them.
I am certainly not against having fun, or expensive dates, (and I certainly don’t want to eat $.50 spaghetti every night) but I appreciate the (Dave Ramsey) notion of “Live like no one else, so *later*, you can LIVE like no one else”.
Also to the original poster, I didn’t mean to imply you were some fling. The ‘random girlfriend’ terminology was a bad choice of words so I apologize for that.
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He could have filled some container with water and left it in the toilet tank. You actually don’t need all that water in a filled tank to flush.
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Oh I totally feel your pain. Penny pinchers can be really rough, especially when they won’t flush the toilet. That’s just nasty!!! LMAO! Come check out my site if you like to vent.
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I have problems with you objecting to him using public transport, and trying to save water - the other things are somewhat frugal, yes. But really, not polluting the ozone with the luxury of a private car when there’s perfectly good (and FREE) public transport? Saving 8 liters of water every time he doesn’t flush the toilet (some would say needlessly)? Shame on him!
I had to laugh. This was pretty funny.
LOL!! Sounds a lot like my ex-boyfriend, an engineer.
I remember the first time I asked to use his bathroom and he hadn’t flushed. Come on, man, you could’ve since you knew I was coming, at least. He also was rent-free, BTW.
not that I should talk… I work for the fam company on the side to pay a low rent to my parents right now.
All I have to say is….wow! Now I’m Asian like you, and we’re known to be cheap, but geez, we’re not half as cheap as this guy. Glad he’s your ex!
sound like my gf - y do the guy always gotta pay 4 everything - girls 2 psycho about money all the time
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