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I don’t think it’s fair to include the engagement ring in your breakdown, as it is the item that initiated the wedding process in the first place. It is more like a gift from the fiance than an obligatory part of the wedding celebrations. It is also not an expense that you are bearing.
You also forget that the cost of the honeymoon was influenced by the fact that the groom’s parents offered to pay for it – if that were not the case, you would have gone for a more affordable option.
And I told you loooooong before I proposed to you that a budget of less than 10k was pretty crazy – especially given the generally higher costs in the Bay Area.
Oh, and love is DEFINITELY not free.
$4,000 doesn’t sound like an overly expensive honeymoon, assuming you’re going somewhere far away. But the engagement ring argument is a bit specious in my opinion; that money certainly could have been rolled into the college fund too. And, in as much as the initial argument is about the cost and pageantry of weddings these days, the expense of the ring should certainly be included.
OMG wedding. I need to go rent the tuxedo.
It doesn’t sound expensive because your parents be ROLLIN’ IN DOUGH. Remember that that amount is *half* of what she originally budgeted for the *entire* wedding. Heck, come to think of it, the honeymoon shouldn’t be figured into the cost of the wedding at all – it’s an entertainment/travel expense – one that probably would have been incurred at some point in the first year of marriage, regardless.
I’ll concede that the ring should be counted in *most* calculations of wedding costs. I can see some men going ring shopping with their wife-to-be only out of obligation to present something as a formal initiation of the marriage process. In my case, however, I think I would’ve bought her the ring or something as a gift anyway (as I mentioned), even in the absence of wedding traditions.
Oh, and to clarify, the ring was never mentioned as part of her original calculations of the wedding budget. She came up with the original figure based on the ceremony and honeymoon costs alone. It’s not fair to add it to the right side of the comparison without adding it to the left. It’s like comparing apples to… apples with a really juicy orange in the middle of ‘em.
All of this sounds reasonable except that my comment about honeymoons was absolute, not relative. If you’re going to say Hawaii and spending a week, then last I checked $300/night + $500/round trip ticket is reasonable, so that’s $3100 for the bare basics, give or take.
Anyway, I wasn’t trying to take sides, I was more commenting on the large costs of weddings. I think your wedding is reasonably priced, and I’m sure it will go swimmingly! Good luck
Yesssss… reasonably priced! Exactly! End of discussion.
Congrats on your wedding. That is fantastic how much you saved. I got married 6 months ago and looking back wish I had made more cuts. Like inviting fewer people, eliminating catered meals we provided for families on Friday and Sunday. I feel we were too generous in retrospect. Without honeymoon, we spent about $15000 (DC area wedding), with many frills eliminated. I truly agree with you, wedding industry is absolutely frivolity.
[...] Get married — Previously, I wrote about how much a wedding costs these days. Nevertheless I think it’s important to have a wedding without going into debt. [...]
Congratulations !
I totally agree, I think the costs for a wedding are insane. And it is just for one day! Think of everything else you could do with that money! It’s refreshing to see someone who has a more realistic view of weddings.
Speaking of money, we wrote an article you may be interested in, seven financial questions to ask your partner BEFORE you get married. Sure you may be saving for the wedding day, but how will you manage your finances as a couple after you are married? You may find this helpful:
Good luck with your own wedding and best of luck for your future
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